The ABC's of Pregnancy Puking

So, my sister made me this super cute little ABC book to populate with stories of my wonderful pregnancy puking. You know, because it is something that I really want to remember and cherish for the rest of my life. Uh, huh.

It was actually so fun writing in it, I thought I would put it on my blog. Sorry I talk so much about puking in this blog - I realize it isn't something anyone really wants to read about, but hey, its my blog, so I'll write what I want. :)

A is for Apples. Because they are the only thing that I managed to be able to eat EVERY DAY, puke back up innumerable times, and still have the stomach to eat again. Also, for airports. Just avoid airplanes all together when you are pregnant. But, if you have to fly, check your baggage. As difficult as it is to fit into a bathroom stall with carry-on luggage normally, it is virtually impossible if you have to assume the puking position.

B is for Breakfast. All 6 times I would have to re-eat it in the mornings. Also, for Bacon. Manna from heaven on the way down - pure torture coming back up.

C is for Carpool. My carpool buddies brought me barf bags, in case I couldn't make it all the way. Thanks, guys. Also, for Corbyn, who once claimed that "husbands are the real victims of pregnancy". Yeah, I feel really sorry for him, having to watch TV, sleep, ride his motorcycle, eat, shoot his gun, etc., all while I hung out on the floor of the bathroom waiting for the next round.

D is for Doritos. For a while, they were actually one of the few things that sounded good to me to eat. Then I puked them. Doritos always have a strong flavor... imagine it in reverse and in your nose. Yuck.

E is for Eating. For those of you who know me well, you know how much I LOVE to eat. Then came pregnancy. A never ending cycle of puking and eating... pregnancy deprived me of my love for eating. (Sniff.) Also, for Executives. I was in a meeting with 3 of our company executives and had to run for the bathroom in the middle of a comment from the CEO. Wouldn't have been bad if there were a lot of people... there were 5 of us.

F is for Family. I managed to puke in every single one of my siblings houses, except Tom's. While this may not be impressive to some of you, please keep in mind that I have 8 siblings. I could tell you whose toilets are cleanest...

G is for Ginger Ale. Some people say it calms your stomach. (Has to be the real stuff, which is nasty.) I tried to choke it down a couple times, but after the pain of choking it down, puking it back up was a real slap in the face. Also, for Granola Bars. I kept a box next to the bed for eating in the middle of the night after waking up to puke. Otherwise, the empty stomach would make me sick all over again. Wow.

H is for Hell. Puking is Hell. Nuff said.

I is for Ice Cream. Quite pleasant to puke, actually.

J is for Jalapenos. Top 3 worst things to puke - it burns, as you might imagine.

K is for Krispy Kreme donuts. Which I never actually had during my pregnancy, but I did have donuts and they are not bad to puke at all. The grease in the donuts makes them come back up nice and smooth. Gross.

L is for Lowes. I puked in two Lowes - both had very nice, clean, empty restrooms. If you MUST puke, may I suggest Lowes.

M is for Milk. People claim milk is nasty to puke. Not true. Clearly, they haven't had much puking experience. It really isn't bad.

N is for Nachos. Which I have always felt may be one of the greatest things of all time to eat. I have very mixed emotions on how these are to puke. They actually taste pretty much the same coming back up as they did going down, so in that way, it isn't bad. But the fact that it isn't bad makes it pretty disgusting. (If that makes sense.)

O is for One Eight Hundred Contacts (OK, that was retarded.) But really, 1-800 CONTACTS has GOT to be one of the nicest places to work, if you are going to puke on a regular basis. Our CEO is kind of a germ-a-phobe, which means our bathrooms get cleaned multiple times a day. Very nice.

P is for Popcorn. Top three worst things to puke. It gets stuck in your throat on the way back up. Also for Peanut Butter. After my nightly ritual of puking, I would eat a PB&H, because they are filling and would last me through the night and not too unpleasant if it came back up. Also, for Phenergine. One of the prescription drugs they give you if you are losing too much weight from puking in an attempt to stem the tide... one of the many drugs that failed to do jack for me.

Q is for quiet. Ask Corbyn, I was SUCH a quiet puker. I am so proud.

R is for Races. If you are inclined to puking, avoid motocross races at all costs. The only bathrooms there are port-a-potties. And they are the absolute worst. The only good thing is that they are disgusting enough that you will very quickly be done with your puking.

S is for Sushi. I didn't even eat the raw fish, since it is frowned upon while pregnant, but even cooked fish is pretty darn nasty to puke. Not quite top 3, however.

T is for Toothpaste. When you puke all the time, you go through an incredible amount of toothpaste. (Which, incidentally, becomes mentally connected with puking, so you begin to develop aversions to certain flavors of toothpaste.)

U is for Unisom. Yet another drug that supposedly stops the puking. Yet another drug that failed.

V is for Vitamin B6. You guessed it - another drug that stops some people from puking... I am not some people.

W is for Watermelon. Top 3 worst things to puke. I know- it is surprising... I'll just say that is comes out thick. Also, for Walmart. One of the worst places to puke. Dirty, small, and very, very busy. In fact, you sometimes have to stand in line for the pleasure of puking in their disgusting toilets.

X is for X-tra. You would be surprised at how long gum can keep puke down. I don't know what it is... maybe the swallowing, but it is a great way to delay, temporarily, the inevitable puke.

Y is for yuck. OK, I actually just couldn't think of one for Y. I will update this one if I ever think of one.

Z is for Zofran. Guess! That's right. ANOTHER prescription drug that supposedly keeps you from puking. This one comes at $20 a pop. Verdict? Ineffective.

AC/DC Rocks

For Christmas, I gave Corbyn the AC/DC track pack for Rock Band. We had some of my nieces and nephews over to play other day and my 4 year old niece, Gabriella, showed us all that AC/DC rocks. No one taught her how to throw her hair and head bang- the music just spoke to her soul... or something. In case you can't tell, she is singing "Thunder struck" and clearly only knows the "Uh, Uh, Thunder!" part of the song. Enjoy:

She smiled (and she wasn't even tooting).

Rhian started smiling on purpose two days ago. This is as close as we could come to catching it on camera. Ignore her baby zits... or her "scarred face" as Tio Collyn calls it. She is still adorable.