In case you care...

Peru - this time, it is Amy

2010-07-23T18:46:00.001-07:00

So, Corbyn tries to make it sound like Peru was more difficult for me than for him, but he came home with more blisters. So, who's the wimp now?!!!?

Peru was awesome - I think Machu Picchu beats Chichen Itza hands down. If you have your choice, pick Machu Picchu. For a few reasons:
1. The ruins themselves are more spectacular (in my opinion)
2. You can still climb on the ruins in Machu Picchu. In Chichen Itza, they are totally roped off.
3. The Andes. They are a sight to behold.
4. Cancun might as well be California. All gringos and Burger King. Peru is still Peru.

So, on to Choquequirao... I will give me rundown of the trip, mostly because I don't think there is much good information out there on the internet about it. I guess that is one of the curses of being one of the first people to a new place - you pave the (knowledge) trail.

So, first off, as Corbyn noted below, you CAN sleep in the Lima, Peru airport. I don't know that I recommend it, but it is possible. Again, it was bad information on the internet, but the research I did said it would cost about $30(US) to go anywhere from the airport - NOT TRUE! First of all, it isn't like the USA airports where you have miles of roads leading to the airport which is in a secluded place - you can actually walk out of the airport and across a little bridge and !voila! - you are in Lima. If you do want to take a taxi, you can get them for cheap - it was like $10 (USD) for a taxi ride to our hotel (once we returned from Cusco) - and our hotel was 40 minutes away. Just don't let your hotel arrange for the taxi for you and you should be golden.

If you DO, however, decide to sleep in the airport, its totally doable - just know you will be sleeping on a tile floor and it is both cold and hard. Zach, the lucky sucker, had his mat and sleeping bag and just busted them out. He slept well - the rest of us didn't sleep. Also, keep in mind that the Peruvians think the departure and arrival of flights is a major accomplishment. They will announce every one of them over the PA system - in Spanish, then repeated in English, and it is LOUD!

OK, so - what airline should you take from Lima to Cusco? I totally recommend Star Peru. This is going to be complicated to explain, but hopefully you get it: When we were returning from Cusco, we were on a 10:00 am flight on Star Peru. There was heavy fog in Cusco (not uncommon), so flights were delayed. At 10:00am, the 8:00am flight hadn't even departed yet and the plane we were supposed to be flying on back to Lima on hadn't left Lima for Cusco yet. Which meant our flight was at LEAST 2 hours away. (Please note that ALL airlines were in this same situation - ALL flights were delayed.) The Cusco airport has no exits once you go through security - the only way out of there is on a plane. We didn't want to hang out in the Cusco airport for 2+ hours - we wanted to go find a place to eat at least, so we asked the airport personell if we could leave the airport. They said the actual airplane had to let us out. So, Collyn went up to a Star Peru employee and said (in Spanish): "We want to leave." Apparently, the lady thought he meant on the earlier flight because she jumped right on her walkie talkie and started jabbering - within 3 minutes, we were boarding the earlier flight. In the US, this wouldn't have happened EVER and if it had, we'd have had to pay a $100 ticket change fee, a $100+ change of class fee (I am sure), and other random fees. No charges here - the lady just took care of us. So, we were all pretty sure our luggage wouldn't make it on to this flight (especially since Delta couldn't even get our luggage out of Atlanta correctly with NO changes) - however, from the window of the plane, we watched the Star Peru Airline employees scurry like ants sorting through baggage until they found ours and literally (yes, literally!) CHASE THE AIRPLANE to make sure the last bag made it on. VERY IMPRESSED. I don't think a Delta worker would have moved an extra 3 feet to ensure our bag got on the correct flight, let alone chase an airplane across the tarmac.

So, sorry - Choquequirao. Take 5 days and a MINIMUM to do this. Even if you are in incredible shape, you can't do it much quicker because it is a narrow trail along the side of the mountain and there are only a couple places to camp. You either do the whole thing in one day (Peruvians say they can do it in 19 straight hours of hiking (each way)) OR you take 2 days to hike in, 2 days to hike out. And Choquequirao is VERY spread out - you'll need at least a day to see much at all of it - probably 2 would be best.

As for the hike, if you are like me, you will underestimate the difficulty of the hike and overestimate your own fitness levels. You should know it is VERY difficult. The first 8 kilometers are fairly flat - slightly uphill and you will think, "This is way easier than I thought". Then, you'll crest the top of a ridge and look down and say, "There is NO WAY we drop all the way down to that river. NO WAY." Over the course of the next several hours, you will drop all the way down to that river. After that first 8 km, there is nothing flat. Pretty much switchbacks or rock stairs for the other 27km. And, just to be clear, it is 35kilometers in, 35 kilomters out. (I thought it was 35 kilomters round trip.)

Hire a mule to carry your pack - otherwise, you won't make it. There was only 2 people we met carrying their own gear - and they had spent the past 9 months backpacking around South America. So, if you backpack for a living, go ahead and carry it yourself. For the rest of us with day jobs, hire a mule. Even still, there will come a point (or several) on this trek where you'll want to throw the gear out and ride the mule yourself.

Bring a smaller backpack to carry your water for the day - and some snacks. You'll need a lot of water. You sweat a lot. The water filter was awesome.

The locals who are selling food along the way are life savors. Just know that there aren't many of them. There will also come a point on the trek when those mules start to look appetizing. OK, not really, but I was very hungry for something besides Kashi bars and beef jerky. The lady that made us rice, potatoes, and an egg for breakfast could be a gourmet chef. Quite possibly the best meal I've ever eaten.

So, I'll give a more day to day depiction of what happened later. It is Friday night and I've had a long week of meetings due to my absence while I was in Peru. I don't want to look at a computer anymore.

Peru 2010

2010-07-22T21:09:00.001-07:00

This not Amy making this post. It is likely she will take a very long time to get around to it. Peru was very hard on her. So I will make the first. PhotoZac (El Chromo-23) and Col will also make posts, hopefully, to give their version of The Great Peruvian Expedition of 2010.

Here is a link to pictures. That way you don’t have to read this stuff.

http://cid-6a5cdeba2d55d4aa.photos.live.com/browse.aspx/Peru%202010

The dates, locations, elevations, and times I will place in a different post. That way, if you are interested in the actual travelling part, you can get facts and not just the opinions.

We arrived in Lima 7/9/2010 just before midnight. The first night we slept in the airport.

Once again, in my life, I was jealous of Zac and his sleeping arrangements. Even though people kept peeking around the corner, the tile was cold and hard. We weren’t the only ones sleeping there. They should charge like a hostel. The nice thing about that place is they announce EVERY single plane arriving and departing several times as if it were a major accomplishment. This happens all through the night, and not once during the day. It seems asi anyway.

Our luggage was lost and we wouldn’t see it for two more days. The Delta ticket clerk in SLC assured us it would get there not problem. We still rearranged our things just in case. The Lima Delta manager was helpful, after we had to get irritating. They did send the luggage to Cusco right after they received it. (It arrived exactly one day after us. No flights to Cusco until the following morning. = 2 days)

When we did get our gear, it was all soaking wet and starting to mold. Fine job Delta. The best part was, they didn’t actually lose it. The lady behind the luggage claim desk in Lima knew exactly where it was. WTH! (what the heck!) I know Mormons will read this.

7/10/10

The flight to Cusco gives you a peek at what the Andes are really like; however, you don’t really know until you hit the trail on foot.

We slept in Aguas Calientes. It is at the base of Machu Picchu. It takes several hours to get there from Cusco by private chauffer and tren (I’ll sprinkle a little Espanish for flavor).

En route to Ollantaytambo (the train starts here), the scenery is quite amazing. There are many HIGH elevation farms in this region. Here are some to the local ladies playing their own Copa.

Photo-bomb Juan. Enjoying la Copa. A local and her baby.

Notice in the pictures everyone is dressed for cool weather except for us. Thanks Delta!

Ollantaytambo is a smaller town a couple of hours outside of Cusco. We paid $60 for the ride in a private car. Travelling by bus is much cheaper, but also MUCH longer. It was worth it. We were already tired and we needed to make the train. The town also has ruins to visit. The admission includes access to other ruins in the region, but not Machu Picchu. Cost is 43 soles.

If you go by train, be sure to get the tickets in advance. They often sell out, as we saw with other people who wanted to get to Aguas Calientes but were told they would have to wait several days or hope someone didn’t show up. We paid approximately $90 round trip. It is spendy, but I bet it is one of the most scenic train rides in the world. Plus, they hand make these chocolates which are oh so tasty. One other train tip, I would spend the extra $10 and not get the bottom class seats. You sit facing other passengers. Let’s just say the distance makes it more than cozy. Lot’s of Euros and Japanese people on the train. Their personal space is much smaller than mine.

Aguas Calientes is a happening place with tons of hostels and restaurants. It is situated between mountains and almost has a claustrophobic feel.

We stayed in the in a hostel towards the top of the main street. I can’t remember the name. It cost $25/night for a room with two beds. We booked two rooms. They have hot water, showers in the room, storage for gear during the day, and breakfast in the morning. Not the cheapest place around, but a very economical choice for the amenities offered. There are real hotels around, for about $300/night. There are also cheaper hostels, but I didn’t want to share a room with El Chomo y El Tio.

7/11/2010

Machu Picchu is SPECTACULAR!!! Pictures in no way whatsoever do it justice. All I can say is, it needs to be seen to be truly appreciated.

The buses from Aguas Calientes to Machu Picchu start leaving at 5:20 a.m. If you want to see the sun come up from there, you should get your tickets the night before. We lined up for the buses around 4:30 a.m., and there were probably 100 people in front of us. I mention this because they only allow 400 people into Wayna Picchu each day. The 400 people are separated into two groups of 200 people each. You must be at the Wayna Picchu gate early. Wayna Picchu is the mountain in the background of the above picture. I opine it is worth the extra effort. The climb is somewhat treacherous (not kidding), and not everyone will be able to do. In fact, we saw many people turn around.

These are all from the Wayna Picchu trail. El Chromo-23 should be using two hands on the cable, but he didn’t think he needed it. However, you can see by his flexed forearm he was pretty worried about the camera.

Be sure to check out the other pictures of Machu Picchu from the link on top of this post. After a couple hours at Machu Picchu (you could spend a couple of days there easily, it is quite enormous), we caught the train back to Ollantaytambo.

Amy on the train. So, so tired.

From Ollantaytambo, we had our private chauffer pick us up and take us back to Cusco. This was arranged because there weren’t many returning taxis. Juan was there waiting and we were on our way. Spain won the World Cup. We missed it. The train doesn’t have TV. Juan, ever so helpful, dropped us off at his buddy’s hostel. Lucky for us, it worked out ok. It is the Buhos Inn on la Avenida del Sol (the main street). They were very nice there and helpful. It has hot water, TV’s, breakfast starting at 6:00 a.m., and a place to store gear. Plus, they gave us some mate de coca (pretty much cocaine tea, ok – not really). It is to help with the altitude sickness. Altitude sickness is a real thing and if you are from Idaho, Utah, or Washington D.C., you will experience it. But, it’s not that bad.

We arrived after 5:00 p.m., and the airport was closed. So, no new change of clothes. Collyn really stinks by this time because none of his gear made it. Amy and I both were able to carry-on our packs on the plane.

7/12/2010

We woke up around 6:00 a.m. to get to the airport to get our things. There are plenty of taxis around Cusco. You won’t have any problems finding one if you need it. We worked it out so he would take us to Cachora also to begin the Choquequirao trek. We paid 6 soles to get to the airport (should have paid only 5). We also arranged with the Buhos Inn to leave some of our things and just take our packs with us. We paid the driver 230 soles to take us to Cachora (we should have paid 200).

Great surprise at the airport. All of our gear was soaking wet. Needless to say, I have emailed Delta and am awaiting a response. I’ll post it also.

Cachora is about 4 hours from Cusco. In bus, I would imagine about a 5.5 hour ride. The road has many twists and turns and elevation changes. It is fun at first, then you can’t sleep and it isn’t so fun.

If you take a bus, you will need to catch another bus down to Cachora from the highway, or take a taxi. They are waiting by the side of the road at the bus stop. 5 soles for a bus ride down, 20-30 soles by taxi.

Upon arriving at the plaza, we were immediately approached by a woman with a baby offering arriero (porter with a mule) services. At first I thought we would take advantage of the offer and get started right away. It was already 11:00 a.m. and we hadn’t started the trek. The sun is strong in the higher altitudes. After watching her walk around the square and do nothing, we decided to find someone ourselves. This made her mad. I ended up telling her we couldn’t wait all day and we needed to get started. She then told us 20 minutes, he’ll be ready. Well, nothing happened. We got our own guy. We found out later she was waiting for another group to show up. If they didn’t, we could use the arriero who was ready. Glad we didn’t wait. We paid 25 soles for the mule and 25 soles for the arriero, and 5 soles for his food per day. The total came to 220 soles for the trek. You could get a guide, but not necessary in the least for this trek.

At the plaza, opposite the church, is the Mountain House. There you can arrange arrieros and rent equipment if you need. They have tents, sleeping pads, and sleeping bags. I would recommend you bring your own.

Our arriero’s name and contact information: Jose Monzon 01992112998 He is a quiet guy and his English isn’t great, but he is very honest and definitely took care of us. I would definitely recommend him. Of all the people we met and places we stayed, he is the absolute one thing I would recommend.

Mountain House contact information: Uriel Cusi Ortiz 083.983757687 or uriel_aventura@hotmail.com

Uriel is a funny guy and will help as much as he can. He takes care of one of the camps on the trail and is the alleged co-owner of the Mountain House. This is not the kind of place to arrange everything for you. They can definitely help and accommodate, but you should make sure things are in order yourself if you use them. Uriel does speak English fairly well.

Getting to the trail head is quite easy. Just head down the street and watch for the signs. There are only two, but they are hard to miss. Jose even brought an extra mule in case one of us couldn’t make the trek. The idea at first was to pack a few of the heavier items on the mule, and then carry the rest in the packs. Jose had a different idea – everything on the mules. At the beginning, I was feeling somewhat robbed. However, after less than an hour, Jose’s idea was the best. I only saw 3 people packing their equipment. The other groups we saw used arrieros and guides. Thomasa y Julian son los mulos de Jose. Zac es un mulo salvaje!

The first day includes a lot of downhill and then a pass of around 10k feet. We stayed at the Chiquisca camp (run by Uriel) the first night. Originally I wanted to stay at Playa Rosalinas (next camp 45 minutes farther), but the bichos (bugs) are quite horrible. It took us about 4 hours to get to Chiquisca. It was dark by the time we set up camp and got to bed. It does have simple showers and holes in the ground for latrines.

All the camps have nice flat, grassy areas.

PhotoZac decided to sleep outside the tent. Lucky for him, he made a new backpacker friend. I don’t know if they exchanged numbers, or just stories, or what. I just know an exchange of some type was made.

From Chiquisca. Jose, Julian, Thomasa en camino.

7/13/2010

This is the hardest day of the trek. You cross the bridge at Playa Rosalinas (approximately 5k feet) and then climb to over 10k feet in one day. It is quiet grueling, arduous, strenuous, you pick the adjective that relates the closest to suffering. We left camp at 6:00 a.m. and arrived at the next one in about 5 laborious hours.

Playa Rosalinas bridge. Trail looking back across the river.

For food, we packed Kashi bars and Cliff bars. They don’t require any preparation, are relatively light, and contain good protein and calories. We didn’t want to pack any cooking equipment because we were considering an arriero a luxury if we could get one. Lucky for us, there are places on this stretch of the trail which will prepare food for you. At Santa Rosa Alta (another camp), we bought a plate of rice, papas (potatoes), and eggs. It was one of the best meals of my ENTIRE life.

Food stop.

There are Peruvians who live along the trail. Even in places you wouldn’t expect. After talking to some of them, they say they have lived there for generations. They farm in the wet season, and help the tourists in the dry season.

Look close to see the trail.

The next camp was Marampatas. It is one of the most incredible places I have ever camped. They charged 2 soles to stay there. I think it is more of a courtesy to pay than anything.

Marampatas camp. The views are amazing.

After setting up camp and a good rest, we continued on to Choquequirao. It is an additional 2 hours from Marampata. They will tell you it is 45 minutes. However, that is to the entrance only. It costs 37 soles to enter.

37 soles per person, please.

Choquequirao is huge. We only had a couple of hours to explore, and it easily takes an entire day. The 5 day trek may be better for those who aren’t in decent shape or want time to see most of the ruins. I doubt you could see everything in one day even. It is much like Machu Picchu in that sense. To see everything requires much bajando, subiendo y sudando.

We saw several condors while there.

There is a campsite at the ruins of Choquequirao.

After several hours at the ruins, we headed back to camp, another two hours. We did make it back before dark. I should mention Tio Collyn was sick at Marampata and yacked. It should be gone by the time you get there.

We paid for some dinner while we were here. There is a family who lives at this campsite with several houses and a small venta. The food wasn’t the cheapest, but it was very tasty and they give generous portions. Some of the best we had while in Peru. They eat a lot of vegetables down there. In particular, the higher elevations always had some kind of lentil beans, corn, and potatoes at every meal.

It was pretty chilly and windy that night, so we tried to find a place to eat out of the weather. The other group at the campsite with us wouldn’t share the table. Interestingly enough, they were French. I was torn, I met another Frenchman on the trail who was a pretty cool guy. He made me think I had only met some French bad apples, but then this lady reaffirmed the stereotype. The best part was, there was plenty of room.

Anyway, we ended up with something better. Maybe that is why the French are the way they are. We always end up with something better.

That night was one of the better sleeps. It was cooler. However, they did have a bunch of stinking chickens to wake us early in the morning. The chickens liked the French tents the most. They walked between them and crowed. Served them right.

It was pitch black in the little hut, until they gave us a candle. It made the camera hard to focus.

Mate de coca to make you feel better.

7/14/2010

We started early to beat the sun. At least today was more down than up.

Houses of the family. French tents, chickens in the background.

Dew was heavy at this camp and the fly and tarp were pretty wet. We tried to get everything ready the night before, but this morning we were moving a little slower. Perhaps because the day before was brutal on the body. However, we made fast time on the way down. Especially, after Jose told us to pick it up. Jose was practically running down the mountain. At one point, I couldn’t separate the mules from PhotoZac. He had been inspired and was determined to keep up. FYI, you won’t be able to keep up with the Peruvians. Those guys can start 2 hours later and still beat you to the camps, even if they are carrying things and are wearing slippers or flip-flops.

We hit Chiquisca around 10:00 a.m. After that, there is a good climb, so we took a break for a couple of hours and dried out our gear from the morning dew. It was definitely nice to take a break, take a nap, and get some more water. Tio Collyn packed a water filter so we wouldn’t have to boil it. Although, I am not sure the water would even make you sick.

It was nice to cool off and sit in the shade. I even took a shower. We spent an hour just talking to Jose and Uriel. It was a good opportunity to get to know them and the area. We were usually pushing hard and out of breath. At the other camps, Jose spent most of his time talking to friends or relatives.

We arrived at the last camp just before 5:00 p.m. It was only an hour from Chiquisca, but we had made good time that day. The last camp’s (unknown name) owner was a relative of Jose. It isn’t the nicest place, but the bugs weren’t bad and you can see Chiquisca and Playa Rosalinas from this camp. It his higher than those two. Plus, it has the best view of the Apurimac river.

Views from the last camp.

There was a family at the last camp from Pennsylvania. They had made it to Playa Rosalinas the day before, but were on their way back out. This trail is not for everyone. 5-10% of the people we met on the trail didn’t make it or were on mules.

That night we slept without the tent to get an early start on the day and get back to Cachora.

7/15/2010

We were going to start early, but instead ending up leaving a little after 6:00 a.m. It would have been nice to leave earlier, but it worked out fine. It was about 4 hours to get back to Cachora. There were at least 2 other groups returning the same day we did, but we didn’t see them on the trail or in town. Although, we didn’t have much time in town. The bus was heading to the highway not long after we arrived.

Last mountain pass in the trail. Myself, PhotoZac, Thomasa, Julian, Collyn.

Choquequirao from the pass. You can see it in the background of the picture above with the sun hitting it.

We thought we had made it after arriving in Cachora, unfortunately it wasn’t the end of the journey. The bus to the highway cost 20 soles and lasted almost an hour, even though it was only a few kilometers. At the highway we waited for another bus for 15 minutes or so. Then we asked a taxi to take us to Cusco. I offered 200 soles (the last guy charged 230). He jumped right on it. Later, he told us he normally charges 180 soles for the trip. But, they drop you off at a bus stop in Cusco rather than taking you to your destination.

Bus stop on the highway.

The taxi had problems about 20 minutes into the drive. Lucky for us, the guy’s brother lived in the town where we broke down and took us the rest of the way. They ended up splitting the money. Plus, the brother had a van instead of a car, but the A/C didn’t work. You’ll never be too comfortable in Peru. The winding, twisting, turning four-hour jaunt was all that was left between us and a good rest.

It seems like we arrived at the Buhos Inn around 3 or 4 in the afternoon. They still had our gear and we stayed there another night. It was nice to shower with hot water.

Qizas I will make another post from the Peru trip. Maybe not.

She dances like her momma... poor girl.

2010-01-05T07:18:00.000-08:00

Check out Rhian's hot dancing moves.

Sunshine, here I come!

2009-12-17T13:56:00.000-08:00

Yes, I will admit it... it is 2:57 pm and I am having a very hard time staying focused on work. Tomorrow at this time, I will be sitting on a beach in Mexico drinking a nice tall Virgin Marguerita... (oh, wait - I know someone who ordered a Virgin Marguerita in Mexico - turns out it is just lime juice, which isn't tasty by itself in large doses)... ok, so I'll be sitting on a beach drinking a nice tall glass of... filtered water... Aaahhhhh.

If you aren't of the Female gender, this post is not for you.

2009-10-14T20:47:00.001-07:00

Seriously, if you have the Y chromosome, stop reading this right now. For your own sake.

I was talking to a friend earlier today and UTI's (told you to stop reading) came up and it reminded me of my really awesome first UTI experience. Some people might consider this an overshare, but I think it is pretty funny. Now. At the time, it sucked.

So, I went to a conference in San Jose, CA. It was a 4 day conference - I flew out Sunday night and was flying back Thursday. I was traveling with my boss and 3 other guys. Sunday night at about midnight I woke up because I had to go to the bathroom worse than I'd ever needed to in my life. I didn't think I was going to make it to the bathroom, it was so bad. Made it - went back to bed. Didn't think much of it until about 3 minutes later when, once again, I had to go to the bathroom SOOOO bad. And you know how it goes... massive pressure, nothing really comes out. Having never had a UTI before, I was REALLY confused. I thought maybe things had built up so much that the pressure wouldn't release (don't ask me - I was confused and it was the middle of the night), so I should take a bath. Didn't relieve any pressure - big surprise. Anyway, I won't go into too many details, but I will say that once I observed the blood, I figured there was something more serious than just the intense need to urinate wrong with me, so I busted out the laptop and did a little research. First little gem of information: UTI's require antibiotics - they cannot be cured any other way. Second little gem of information: cranberry juice can relieve the symptons although they don't cure it. Third little gem: citrus and sugar make it worse.

So, here I am in downtown San Jose with absolutely no idea where I can go to get an Rx to cure me. Secondly, the rental car is in my bosses name (he's a man that at that point had been my boss for only a couple months. Last thing I want to do is share that I have a UTI and I need him to drive me to a doctor.)

So, I went down to the hotel bar (which luckily was still open) and asked if they had cranberry juice. The bartender asked what I wanted it mixed with and looked at me really weird when I said I wanted it plain. If he was a woman, he would have known. So, he gives me this small portion of cranberry juice in a really cool cocktail glass - I downed it and asked for another and he started looking at me like I was a crazy lady. But, at that point, I really didn't care - I just wanted to survive the next 4 days without anyone discovering my little secret.

And every restaurant we went to, I'd ask for cranberry juice as my beverage. And, FYI - the majority of restaurants don't have cranberry juice, but they will always offer orange juice instead. And look at you like your crazy when you say, "No thanks, I'll just have water." Cranberry juice or bust.

So, not too much more to say, other than that I probably spent half of each 1.5 hour conference session over the next 4 days in the bathroom. And the conference center had a little convenience store that I completely cleaned out of any drink that contained any mention of "cranberry", "cran", etc. Seriously - my laptop bag was full of the little 8 oz. bottles of fruit juice... I downed at least one every session. I am sure the guys I was with thought something weird was going on.. I was going through a cranberry phase or something.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that the conference registration booth was about 10 feet outside the entrance to the bathroom. I wonder how many times you can walk by before a stranger recognizes it is the same lady who keeps going into the bathroom? I bet I became a drinking game - take a swig every time that chick goes into the bathroom again. And I bet the registrars were all rolling drunk. :)

So, I realize this doesn't sound very funny when it is typed. Nor was it funny while I was suffering. But it sure seems funny to me looking back. And, the funniest thing is that I didn't want to tell Corbyn because it was so undignified and gross. I suffered in silence at the time. Now I throw out "UTI", "menstrual", etc. every once in a while just to see him squirm. :)

Great. Brett just joined the ranks of the blog visitors.

2009-10-14T20:45:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know Brett, he is my smart-aleky brother who fancies himself a comedian. The comments are about to get a lot more interesting. (And by interesting, I mean mean.) :)

Eat dirt!!!

2009-10-05T16:13:00.000-07:00

So, one time when I was young (very young - maybe 5 or 6), my dad told me to "Eat Dirt!!!" (His was of saying "No way!") I took him serious and went outside and ate a handful of dirt. I was such an obedient child.

Corbyn absolutely did NOT tell Rhian to eat dirt, but she ate plenty of it this weekend on our Lake Powell trip. It was pretty funny. I'd been making fun of Corbyn because when I went to his motocross race a couple weekends ago, everytime Rhian crawled near the dirt, Corbyn would freak out and be like, "Amy! She's getting in the dirt!!!" and so I was telling everyone we were going to have a prissy daughter and it wasn't going to be my fault. I could tell Corbyn was biting his tongue so hard it was going to scar while watching Rhian crawl around in the dirt and shove handfuls in her mouth... it finally got to be too much for him and he kept saying, "Amy, she is going to be sick. She's eaten way too much dirt." He finally just went and picked her up. It was pretty funny. See her dirt mustache?

This ones for you, Tio Collyn.

2009-09-23T09:51:00.001-07:00

I'll show you to say I'm a bad blogger...

Some pictures of my bro-in-law at Glacier National Park. He's single, ladies... Highest bidder gets the date!

Shall we start the bidding at $20? (That's enough for a movie! (At least, it was a year ago when I used to go to movies... sigh.)

She crawls!!!

2009-08-11T19:34:00.000-07:00

She's like a high-stepping prancing pony.

Getting closer to my goal...

2009-08-10T16:17:00.001-07:00

So, everything I have read says you have to be patient with the weight loss after pregnancy. That it took you 9 months to gain it, so you should expect that it will take at least that long to lose it. (And, again, for the poor souls out there who believe the whole "Pregnancy lasts 9 months", you should know it is a conspiracy. Do the math: 40 weeks = full term pregnancy. 4 weeks = 1 month. Bust out a calculator and do some math... 40/4= 10 MONTHS. Yeah, I didn't do the math beforehand either. It is a huge conspiracy propulgated by the MALE gender... anyway, I digress. I'll save that rant for a different post.) So, anyway, my goal has been to be back down to my pre-pregnancy weight by the end of the 10 months. I have 6 weeks to lose 4 lbs... I am inching closer. If only I wouldn't have made that Brownie Pudding Cake this weekend. (Sigh.)

Oh, and for the record, my life will now be chronicled by "BC" and "AD". As in, "Before Conception" and "After Delivery". (Such as, in year 1 BC, I was much skinnier than in year 1 AD, despite the fact that the scale says I am close. Tape measures don't lie.)

Yeah, I think I am pretty clever.

OK - let's test my HTML skills

2009-07-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

This is a book I created for my mother-in-law (aka. Rhian's Biggest Fan) for Mothers Day. It is pretty fun - I totally dig digital scrapbooking. Much more my style than busting out the glue stick and decorative scissors... probably because I am much more skilled with a computer than a glue stick. (I always manage to get it all over my hands... and subsequently onto the paper I am trying to cut, which then sticks to me... and the scissors... and the table... etc.

OK, so trying to imbed here... let's see if it works:

allowFullScreen='true' quality='high' bgcolor='#869ca7' width='100%' height='100%' name='main' align='middle' play='true' loop='false' allowScriptAccess='sameDomain' type='application/x-shockwave-flash' pluginspage='http://www.adobe.com/go/getflashplayer'>

OK - so I thought I could hack their code, but clearly, I am not that good. That is what you get when a marketer who works on web projects think she can code web projects. I'll have to work on this later - here is the link to view it (I can at least copy and paste a link):

http://www.heritagemakers.com/projectBrowserBWC.cfm?projectID=9c590cf8-3048-32c2-acf3-ac29159cd240&productID=1

If you want to create one yourself, here is the website to sign up:

http://www.bindyourjourney.com/

She has her first tooth!!!

2009-07-14T15:10:00.000-07:00

OK, I was starting to worry because everything I read said Rhian should get her first tooth between 3-7 months and we were 2 weeks past 7 months and NO TOOTH!!! But, I discovered one- finally! So, she is only 2 weeks behind... whew! Perhaps with some intensive training, she'll catch up. :)

And an unrelated picture - she is just too cute. Notice the shirt: Chief Executive Offspring. Yeah - she definitely rules the roost at our house.

And when I have a few more minutes, I'll tell you all about my second initiation to motherhood last night: "Rhian Poops in the Bathtub" starring Rhian and me. Once again, Daddy is strangely absent despite my many calls to him...

She sleeps...

2009-06-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

I am a bad blogger, I know. But how does a mom have time to do this? Sheesh!! Props to all the moms out there who have time to both be involved in their babies lives AND update people on their lives.

Top 10 Reasons Bunko sucks

2009-04-13T16:16:00.001-07:00

I started on this several months ago and never finished it.

I was invited by some ladies in the neighborhood to a bunco group. I went once... I have declined to participate since. Since I don't get to spend any time with Rhian during the day, I really want to spend time with her at night - no offense ladies, but yes, I prefer her company. :) Oh, yeah, and of course, since I was pregnant, I puked, which didn't help my love of the game.

Also, I have some beefs with the game itself. Here goes:

10: There is no real betting. Yeah, I'm LDS. So, betting is off-limits. But, I'll admit that in Vegas, I LOVE to play Black Jack. (Ok, I only really did it once and it was actually with someone else's money - long story, but it was really fun. Yes, I lost all the other persons money. :)) So, I dislike Bunco because there isn't any good real betting. I mean, you go KNOWING the set amount you'll lose. No risks, no excitement - nothing. If I'm going to bet, I want it to be good and exciting. Like, "If I lose this hand, I have no where to sleep tonight" exciting.

9: Bunco makes you feel stupid. It is such a simple game, but with 11 other ladies around you all yelling numbers, it makes it incredibly difficult to keep track of YOUR number.

8: B-U-N-C-O. Sounds a little to much like B-I-N-G-O. I turned 31 this past birthday, not 60.

7: Twilight. I know, women love it. They can't help it. But the only thing I heard anyone talk about other than yelling, "BUNCO!" was Edward and Twilight. (I don't even know the name of the chick in that book... all I ever hear about is this Edward dude.)

6: It takes a LONG FREAKING TIME! I'm down with an hour long dice game, but holy crap! Between the game and the food, we are talking a 4 hour commitment, minimum. And all the while, I am watching out the window and seeing the weeds grow in my garden, the grass getting longer, my motorcycle rusting, absolutely NOTHING happening in the kitchen, and Corbyn getting dumber by watching stupid shows like Run's House, Viva La Bam, and Little People, Big World. (I like to watch Law & Order (which Corbyn can't stand) when he is gone... he likes to watch those really DUMB shows when I am gone. I just don't get them. I can't stand MythBusters (I hate the dude's hat), but at least I see the appeal. But Run's House? I don't get it.)

Sorry, I digress... that is for another post.

5: Women don't trash talk. I need my games to involve a few insults. Nowhere, in the whole night, did I hear someone say anything like "You like Apples?"

4. Speaking of Apples, holy FOOD! Now, normally this would be a positive. But I just had a baby - I'm still packing an extra 10 lbs around. All that food so readily available does nothing to help me fit into my pants again.

3: I suck at Math. I know there is no real Math involved, but my lack of mathmatical skills makes me somewhat aversive to numbers all together. I hear and deal with numbers all day at work - why would I want to spend a night where the only words I hear are numbers and the occasional scream of "BUNCO!" Which leads me to my next one...

2: NO GOSSIP! I hate that all I hear all night are numbers and "BUNCO!". If I am having a girls night out, I want some good girly talk and gossip.

1: I will make enemies if I continue to play. As I mentioned above, I like the trash talk. I like to take it - I like to dish it out. And somehow, it doesn't seem like it would fly to come up to some woman at church and say, "Remember how I totally kicked your butt at Bunco last week?" or "Poor ! Couldn't keep track of your numbers? Perhaps you should go back to Elementary school and learn to count again..." or, "I can get you the phone number for Hooked on Phonics. You should give them a call."

I have no problem dishing out the trash talk when it is my family and/or guy friends, but this just doesn't seem the same. And if it is a game without trash talk, it really isn't worth playing. That is how I roll. (Perhaps that is why I don't have more friends... Hmmm....)

And a picture of Rhian, so no one is offended that I prefer her company. How can I not want to spend every moment with this???

Rhian gives kisses

2009-04-13T16:04:00.000-07:00

At first, I couldn't quite figure out what the heck she was doing... she'd just open her mouth really wide and dive-bomb my face. Then, I noticed that she was doing it right after I gave her kisses. (Yeah, I am sooo observant.) And thus, I deduced that this big, wide open-mouthed gumming is Rhian's version of giving kisses. And I LOVE IT! I go to work with slobber all over my face and shirt (did I mention she is a drooler?) (and, no, not MY drool) because I just sit and let her gum me for 15 minutes every morning.

Motherhood rocks.

The picture has nothing to do with her giving kisses, but it sure is cute, so I put it on here anyway. My blog - I can do whatever I want.

OK- I can't help it

2009-03-05T15:46:00.000-08:00

I don't want to post billions of photos of Rhian on here, but she is so stinking cute I just have to post a couple. And one really attractive picture of Corbyn. (Have I ever mentioned how much he hates headbands and flowers?)

My stomach is disgusting.

2009-02-16T07:12:00.000-08:00

There was a time I had a six pack.
Then I got pregnant and it turned to a keg.
Now, it is a bowlful of jelly.

I know, this is an over-share. No one wants to hear about my gross stomach, but I can't help it. I keep getting more and more depressed with every ineffective sit-up.

The ABC's of Pregnancy Puking

2009-01-25T17:34:00.000-08:00

So, my sister made me this super cute little ABC book to populate with stories of my wonderful pregnancy puking. You know, because it is something that I really want to remember and cherish for the rest of my life. Uh, huh.

It was actually so fun writing in it, I thought I would put it on my blog. Sorry I talk so much about puking in this blog - I realize it isn't something anyone really wants to read about, but hey, its my blog, so I'll write what I want. :)

A is for Apples. Because they are the only thing that I managed to be able to eat EVERY DAY, puke back up innumerable times, and still have the stomach to eat again. Also, for airports. Just avoid airplanes all together when you are pregnant. But, if you have to fly, check your baggage. As difficult as it is to fit into a bathroom stall with carry-on luggage normally, it is virtually impossible if you have to assume the puking position.

B is for Breakfast. All 6 times I would have to re-eat it in the mornings. Also, for Bacon. Manna from heaven on the way down - pure torture coming back up.

C is for Carpool. My carpool buddies brought me barf bags, in case I couldn't make it all the way. Thanks, guys. Also, for Corbyn, who once claimed that "husbands are the real victims of pregnancy". Yeah, I feel really sorry for him, having to watch TV, sleep, ride his motorcycle, eat, shoot his gun, etc., all while I hung out on the floor of the bathroom waiting for the next round.

D is for Doritos. For a while, they were actually one of the few things that sounded good to me to eat. Then I puked them. Doritos always have a strong flavor... imagine it in reverse and in your nose. Yuck.

E is for Eating. For those of you who know me well, you know how much I LOVE to eat. Then came pregnancy. A never ending cycle of puking and eating... pregnancy deprived me of my love for eating. (Sniff.) Also, for Executives. I was in a meeting with 3 of our company executives and had to run for the bathroom in the middle of a comment from the CEO. Wouldn't have been bad if there were a lot of people... there were 5 of us.

F is for Family. I managed to puke in every single one of my siblings houses, except Tom's. While this may not be impressive to some of you, please keep in mind that I have 8 siblings. I could tell you whose toilets are cleanest...

G is for Ginger Ale. Some people say it calms your stomach. (Has to be the real stuff, which is nasty.) I tried to choke it down a couple times, but after the pain of choking it down, puking it back up was a real slap in the face. Also, for Granola Bars. I kept a box next to the bed for eating in the middle of the night after waking up to puke. Otherwise, the empty stomach would make me sick all over again. Wow.

H is for Hell. Puking is Hell. Nuff said.

I is for Ice Cream. Quite pleasant to puke, actually.

J is for Jalapenos. Top 3 worst things to puke - it burns, as you might imagine.

K is for Krispy Kreme donuts. Which I never actually had during my pregnancy, but I did have donuts and they are not bad to puke at all. The grease in the donuts makes them come back up nice and smooth. Gross.

L is for Lowes. I puked in two Lowes - both had very nice, clean, empty restrooms. If you MUST puke, may I suggest Lowes.

M is for Milk. People claim milk is nasty to puke. Not true. Clearly, they haven't had much puking experience. It really isn't bad.

N is for Nachos. Which I have always felt may be one of the greatest things of all time to eat. I have very mixed emotions on how these are to puke. They actually taste pretty much the same coming back up as they did going down, so in that way, it isn't bad. But the fact that it isn't bad makes it pretty disgusting. (If that makes sense.)

O is for One Eight Hundred Contacts (OK, that was retarded.) But really, 1-800 CONTACTS has GOT to be one of the nicest places to work, if you are going to puke on a regular basis. Our CEO is kind of a germ-a-phobe, which means our bathrooms get cleaned multiple times a day. Very nice.

P is for Popcorn. Top three worst things to puke. It gets stuck in your throat on the way back up. Also for Peanut Butter. After my nightly ritual of puking, I would eat a PB&H, because they are filling and would last me through the night and not too unpleasant if it came back up. Also, for Phenergine. One of the prescription drugs they give you if you are losing too much weight from puking in an attempt to stem the tide... one of the many drugs that failed to do jack for me.

Q is for quiet. Ask Corbyn, I was SUCH a quiet puker. I am so proud.

R is for Races. If you are inclined to puking, avoid motocross races at all costs. The only bathrooms there are port-a-potties. And they are the absolute worst. The only good thing is that they are disgusting enough that you will very quickly be done with your puking.

S is for Sushi. I didn't even eat the raw fish, since it is frowned upon while pregnant, but even cooked fish is pretty darn nasty to puke. Not quite top 3, however.

T is for Toothpaste. When you puke all the time, you go through an incredible amount of toothpaste. (Which, incidentally, becomes mentally connected with puking, so you begin to develop aversions to certain flavors of toothpaste.)

U is for Unisom. Yet another drug that supposedly stops the puking. Yet another drug that failed.

V is for Vitamin B6. You guessed it - another drug that stops some people from puking... I am not some people.

W is for Watermelon. Top 3 worst things to puke. I know- it is surprising... I'll just say that is comes out thick. Also, for Walmart. One of the worst places to puke. Dirty, small, and very, very busy. In fact, you sometimes have to stand in line for the pleasure of puking in their disgusting toilets.

X is for X-tra. You would be surprised at how long gum can keep puke down. I don't know what it is... maybe the swallowing, but it is a great way to delay, temporarily, the inevitable puke.

Y is for yuck. OK, I actually just couldn't think of one for Y. I will update this one if I ever think of one.

Z is for Zofran. Guess! That's right. ANOTHER prescription drug that supposedly keeps you from puking. This one comes at $20 a pop. Verdict? Ineffective.

AC/DC Rocks

2009-01-17T18:15:00.000-08:00

For Christmas, I gave Corbyn the AC/DC track pack for Rock Band. We had some of my nieces and nephews over to play other day and my 4 year old niece, Gabriella, showed us all that AC/DC rocks. No one taught her how to throw her hair and head bang- the music just spoke to her soul... or something. In case you can't tell, she is singing "Thunder struck" and clearly only knows the "Uh, Uh, Thunder!" part of the song. Enjoy:

She smiled (and she wasn't even tooting).

2009-01-05T20:14:00.000-08:00

Rhian started smiling on purpose two days ago. This is as close as we could come to catching it on camera. Ignore her baby zits... or her "scarred face" as Tio Collyn calls it. She is still adorable.

I think I was tagged...

2008-12-18T19:58:00.001-08:00

So, I believe my friend Aubrey tagged me, but with a name as generic as mine, it is hard to know if she was meaning me or one of the hundreds of other people with my name. No, really, there is a website (www.howmanyofme.com) that will tell you how many people have your name... ~670,000 people in the US with the first name "Amy". And 304 people with the name "Amy Larson". So awesome being just one of the hundreds...

Anyway, since I have been tagged, I have to tell 6 unique things about myself. 6 unique things that I am not embarrassed to admit...

How about I tell 6 unique things about Corbyn instead... that is much more interesting and funny:

#1: Corbyn is a sleep talker. And in his dreams, he is always either hanging out with 80's rock stars (Sammy Hagar, Ozzy, etc.) or battling a creature from Doom or Halo. Until about a month ago, when, in the middle of the night, he yelled, "CANDY CORN!!!" in his sleep. I don't think that dream had anything to do with rock stars or video games. And then I asked him, "Did you just yell Candy Corn?" And he says, "Yes" all irritated at me, like it is totally normal for people to yell Candy Corn in their sleep.

#2: Corbyn spends a lot of time in the bathroom. OK, not super unique - this is something that most men do, but Corbyn will disappear into the bathroom for an hour with a magazine. No exaggeration. Like I said - I know it isn't unique, but I am just posting this because someone just called for him, he is in the bathroom, and I have to tell the caller that he is "occupied" at the moment and he will have to call them back. When will he be available? A very good question... I also would like to know. Anyone figure out a method to predict when men will conclude the business they have to conduct in their "office"?

#3: Corbyn had a mullet in high school. OK, he didn't really - he just had some long, flowing hair, but he gets really irritated when people say it was a mullet and you all know how much I love to be irritating... I am going to try to get a picture of this for you all to see- it is pretty funny. With long, flowing hair like that, no wonder he dreams about hanging out with 80's rock stars...

#4: Corbyn is always right. I know - you don't think it is possible for someone to be right ALL the time - that is what I used to think, too. But, that is why I am including it on his list of unique things. Really, he is ALWAYS right. It has only taken me a little over 8 years of knowing him and 2 years of marriage to finally figure that out. :)

#5: Corbyn is super cheap. Well, kind of. He buys skim milk because it is $.25 cheaper, but will drop a couple hundred dollars on a MX Tuner for his motorcycle without thinking twice. Or telling his wife. (Yeah, don't ask me what an MX Tuner is. All I know is that it has something to do with the fuel injection on his motorcycle and we are now the proud owners of one.)

#6: Corbyn is an AWESOME snowmobile rider. And it is really hot. The first time I ever saw Corbyn snowboard, I thought, "Wow - that is Corbyn at his hottest." Then I saw him do math and I thought, "No, that is Corbyn at his hottest." (Yeah, it is a weird thing... I suck at math, so I find it incredibly attractive when someone else is good at it.) Then I saw him lifting weights and I thought, "OK, THAT is Corbyn at his hottest." (*Note: this is mostly looking everywhere other than Corbyn's face. Corbyn's weight lifting face looks something like what I imagine my giving birth face looked like.) Then, I saw Corbyn in a suit and I thought, "No, really. THAT is Corbyn at his hottest." And then I saw him ride motorcycles and I thought, "Ultimate hotness - right there." And then, I saw him ride a snowmobile. I don't know what it is, but wow - sooooo hot. (OK, and now that I have seen him with Rhian, he surpassed even snowmobile riding, but men with babies are always hot.) Anyway - Corbyn is such a good snowmobile rider that his family won an award for "Snowmobiling Family of the Year" in 2007 for the state of Idaho. He even got a jacket with his name embroidered on it. (Spelled incorrectly, of course.) Be sure to congratulate him on it next time you see him - he will be nice and embarrassed.

There you go. 6 unique things about Corbyn. Now, I get to tag some other people. So, I tag: Devri, April, Karen, Hannah, Tamara, Kristen.

Babies float - who knew?

2008-12-17T10:33:00.000-08:00

My family's Christmas party was this past weekend and Corbyn and I decided that 3 weeks is the perfect time to introduce Rhian to swimming. Sh

e seemed to LOVE it. She got all stiff when we first put her in the water, but quickly relaxed and just hung out. And really seemed to love it... she was so relaxed that she was actually doing the back float. (We supported her head - she has such

a big brain, it always seemed to want to sink, but the rest of her just totally floated.) Here are some pics.

When we first put her in the water, her arms and legs flailed a bit and she sure got all stiff. (Notice the claws...)

You can't really see very well in the picture, but Corbyn is only holding her head... the rest of her is all floating.

The water was a little cold for her in the pool, if you can't tell. She pulled some pretty funny faces.

She relaxed a lot easier in the hot tub.

Corbyn dunked her a couple times... Rhian is either going to love water or be terrified of it. But she actually didn't seem to mind it at all. OK, so the picture above is a little freaky. If you click on it, you can see an eye under the water.

Trying to go into labor

2008-12-09T16:17:00.000-08:00

So, I tried just about everything to go into labor... spicy foods, going for a walk, shampooing carpets, painting, OTHER THINGS - nothing worked. However, it did make for a productive couple weeks. My last attempt to go into labor was to put wood flooring in our kitchen and bathroom. Here are some pics. All the squatting required was certainly not comfortable with a past-due belly - you would think that would initiate labor, but it didn't. Well, at least we got the floor done - I went into labor two days later. Poor Corbyn had to finish up all the final boring stuff (putting in baseboards, caulking, etc.)by himself while I wandered around our house counting the minutes between contractions and praying they would hurry and get to 2-3 minutes so I could go to the hospital and get my dang epidural.

Oh, and the picture of Corbyn with the mask on his face over the toilet: We had to pull up the toilet so we could install the wood floor under it. Corbyn is such a baby about that stuff (yeah, he hasn't changed a diaper yet). He was positive that is was going to stink, so he required a mask and a bunch of towels and blankets that could be thrown away if any toilet water touched them. He was so paranoid about the toilet water... wouldn't touch anything that might be contaminated by it... and then when he sat the toilet down in the garage, a little water spilled out of the toilet onto his shoe. He was SO mad. It was hilarious.

Oh, yeah. I cut off my hair.

2008-12-09T16:00:00.000-08:00

It was actually pretty cool. I donated it to Locks of Love and I have so much freaking hair that it was 3 separate donations. So, I guess there is SOME good from having hair that is, "like, not normal for humans." (A direct quote from my cousin Melanie's husband, Nate. Thanks, Nate.)

Me with my new short(er) hair. And Rhian in the only dress that fits her. (Yes, it is pink. Sorry, Chuck.)

Our little boy Ryan

2008-12-08T12:58:00.000-08:00

So, we only had two little outfits that fit Rhian, and with her power pooping problem, that wasn't near enough. So, I asked Corbyn to pick up some onsies at Walmart while he was getting some milk. He saw the blue section, saw the pink section and felt "uncomfortable" going to the pink section so he picked up some nice blue onsies with basketballs, footballs, baseballs, and sayings like, "Let's play ball!" all over them. Apparently, Corbyn doesn't know that clothes are the only way to tell the difference between boy and girl newborns... and with a name like Rhian, we REALLY need to dress our little girl in pink.

Yeah, this is what I have to deal with. If Corbyn feels uncomfortable going into the pink baby section, imagine the looks I get when I even mention I need to pick up feminine items. Or if he inadvertantly follows me to the feminine items section. Or if I even happen to put them in the shopping cart when we are shopping together. Or if they are in the same shopping bag as anything of his. You get the picture.

Labor sucks

2008-12-04T12:23:00.000-08:00

OK, so writing about labor is hard. I don't want to share TOO many details because it gets gross too fast. Not to mention that I doubt you all care too much. So, here are the high points:

Labor is the worst thing ever. I have never felt so wimpy in my life... I hear people talk about how their labor was fast and relatively painless - they got the epidural and life was all good. And it makes me feel like an absolute wimp... I thought I was going to DIE before I got the epidural.
Corbyn and I managed to get caught in both morning and evening rush hour traffic. How? Well, we got sent home the first time we went to the hospital. Yeah, kind of embarrassing, but in my defense, they told me to come in when the contractions were 5-6 minutes apart. We went when they were 6-7 minutes apart, they strapped me up to all the monitors, but my labor was just not progressing fast enough to keep me. So, we turned around and went home through morning rush hour traffic. They told me to come back when they were 2-3 minutes apart... which just happened to be during evening rush hour traffic. Awesome.
Something you never want to hear during labor (or any medical procedure, for that matter), "That's not good." Yeah, I was hunched over, waiting for the epidural guy to finish his work. I am trying very hard to hold still during contractions and I hear Corbyn say, "Is that blood?" and the epidural guy say, "Uh, yeah. That's not good." After all the horror stories you hear about epidurals, that is really not a good thing to hear.
The hospital has some awesome puker bags. Yeah, if you have been reading my blog much, you know that I am apparently a puker when I am pregnant. Some guys at my work kindly supplied me with barf bags to carry in my car (thanks, Bryan). But, they are nothing compared to these awesome puker bags the hospital has. I actually took some when I left (Ssshhhh.) And, Corbyn got to witness me puking, for the first time of the pregnancy. I had been so careful, but there was no hiding it when I was strapped to the bed.
I think it was almost as intense for Corbyn as it was for me. The trips to the hospital were very... uh... bumpy. I don't think he liked seeing me in pain because he was all over the gas and the brakes - very abruptly. It was actually pretty cute that he was so worked up about it.
Same as above... the intensity caused Corbyn to make some strange, non-Corbynish decisions. We had both agreed that he would stay north of the border during the whole ordeal. During the heat of the moment, they asked him if he would like to help while I was pushing and he said yes! He wasn't thinking straight... I wasn't thinking straight- I thought I must be hallucinating or something. Had I been thinking straight, I would have said stopped him. But, luckily, it didn't take long for him to come to his senses. He assisted for one contraction (3 pushes) and then said, "I can't do this," and came back up by my head.
I can't believe some women have to push for several hours. I only had to push for 45 minutes and she was born. The statistics say that most first time mothers have to push for 1-3 hours... I can't even imagine. I was completely beat after 45 minutes - if I would have had to keep going, I can't imagine that my pushing would have been very effective.
The table they pull in for the final minutes of pushing reminded me of Braveheart and the table of torture devices they pull up for the final scene. It is covered with a white cloth, but you get some glimpses of some weird looking devices when they start moving that cloth around... and some of the stuff really makes you wonder what in the heck they would use something like for.
Another line you don't want to hear during any medical procedure: (doctor to nurse) "I can only find 7 sponges. Did you pick one up?" Yikes - for a minute, I was thinking of Seinfeld and the Junior Mint. (Don't worry - they found it.)
If you are prone to nightmares - prepare yourself. Labor will haunt your dreams for several days.

There are probably other highlights, but I am trying to block most of the worst memories, so that is all I will include for now, other than some pictures of the prize at the end. :)

Initiation to motherhood: I got pooped on last night.

2008-12-03T11:25:00.000-08:00

Well, I have LOADS to blog about, so I will be trying to catch up over the next couple days because I KNOW you all care. But, let's start with the most important things first: I got pooped on TWICE in one day. Well, technically, I guess to was over the course of two days, because the most traumatic event occurred at 3:00 am.

So, here we go: Our poor little Rhian developed some SERIOUS diaper rash. The pediatrician recommended Bag Balm (which was funny - he said, "Are either of you familiar with Bag Balm?" and then looked very surprised when we both said yes... he has no idea.)
So, we have been laying Rhian out diaperless (with LOADS of rags under her to catch any poop) so her little bum can air out. We thought rags UNDER her bum would be fine. We didn't know we needed rags covering a 1 foot radius in all directions. Luckily (unluckily), I was able to catch the majority of her explosion on myself, saving our couch. Disgusting.

So, we put her to bed. 2:30 AM comes around - time for her early morning feeding. I wake up, I feed her, I take her to change her diaper. She is all clean, and suddenly, it happens. Old Faithful erupts. We are talking volcanic eruption poop. Guinness Book of World Record Poop. To compound this, I had her legs in the air for the application of Bag Balm, which aimed her bum upward, allowing for more loft with the eruption. I didn't measure it, but I am pretty sure that 5 feet is no exaggeration of the distance. And it was not a small amount. It covered everything in it's path... me, our Love Sack, the floor, etc. I yell, in my shock and disgust, "Corbyn, HELP!" No response. I look at Rhian, thinking perhaps she would be giving me a face that would indicate that she had either been constipated, angry, SOMETHING that would be a future indication to me that this might be about to occur. Her eye were half closed... she wasn't even hardly awake. So, I spend the next hour and a half trying to clean up the HORRIBLE mess she has made all over the room and myself - but not an easy task when 1. it is the middle of the night and 2. you are as blind as me and don't have your contacts in.

And, of course, here is the kicker - after my cry of desperation to Corbyn for help... after 1 1/2 hours of disgusting cleaning up of poop - I walk into our bedroom to finally go to sleep and there is Corbyn, sawing some major logs. He slept through the whole traumatic incident. The next morning, I told him about it and told him we really needed to buy a carpet shampooer. He thought I was a little crazy... until he went to the scene of the "incident". Apparently, I hadn't done quite as good of a job cleaning up as I had thought. So, Corbyn spent a good deal of time scrubbing the carpet and then promply logged on to Amazon to purchase a carpet shampooer.

And now, I am afraid. Every time a change her diaper, I hold something in the path of the poop-hole. And airing her out diaperless? Forget about it. Her diaperless days are DONE. Frankly, I am concerned about a diapers ability to withstand the force of her poops... if the force behind the poop can be correlated to her size and will grow as she grows... um, give her just a couple weeks and we are going to be duct taping the diapers on her because that weeny tape on the diaper certainly won't hold. A few months? Geez, I don't even know if there is a man made material that could stop the eruption. Yikes.

Rhian Soraya Larson has arrived!!!

2008-11-23T19:18:00.001-08:00

I will, of course, post tons of pictures soon, and details soon, but our little girl has arrived and she is adorable (of course). She has tons of hair (big surprise) and a dimple in her chin.

The picture you've all been waiting for...

2008-10-31T12:54:00.001-07:00

I laughed so hard I cried - my manly husband was so terrified, he looks sick.

Click on the picture so you can see a larger version - it is hilarious.

I am trunky - I'll admit it.

2008-10-30T08:10:00.001-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day of work before maternity leave. I can't help it - I am totally trunky. I have a handful of items to wrap up and then I am home-free for 2 months. SOOOOO excited.

Also, I have my doctors appt today. I am really hoping the doctor gives me better news than last week. OK, it wasn't really bad news last week, but after 9 months of puking, I am ready to get this baby out of me, so when the doctor says I am not dilated at all, it is kind of a bummer. Hopefully, I will be dilated to a 5 when I go in today and they can just take me straight over to the hospital. (I know, keep dreaming.)

Well, time to leave for work.

It is a wonder the human race hasn't died out...

2008-10-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

It is a good thing people don't go to birthing classes BEFORE they get pregnant, because otherwise, our species would cease to exist.

So, last weekend, Corbyn and I went to a birthing class. First of all, it was LONG. I think I spent more time learning about birth than a lot of women actually spend giving birth. Yeah - 4 hours Friday night and 8 hours Saturday. LONG!

A couple of key take-aways from the class:

Corbyn is not great at role-playing. They were trying to get us to practice breathing techniques and pretend like we are having contractions, and trying to get the husbands to play the role of the supportive coach. We watched a video where the husband kept saying things like, "You are being so strong", "You are doing so well", "You are so amazing", etc. Yeah, right. Can you really see Corbyn saying stuff like that? His coaching was more along the lines of, "It doesn't hurt, does it?" Anyway, he kept making me laugh... hopefully, that works when I am actually in labor.
Birthing class sucks even worse for soon-to-be-fathers than soon-to-be-mothers. This is hard to call, really, whose side the scale of unpleasantness tips towards. At least the man doesn't have to know that the horrible things happening in the video will soon be happening to him. But, in my experience, men are uncomfortable with anything "down there". So, having to watch babies come out of several "down there"'s on TV has got to be ultra-unpleasant. Not to mention watching large women demonstrate the proper form when breast feeding. And although I still think, given just those things, the balance tips in favor of it being worse for women, once you start practicing comfort techniques for birth, I think the scale tips back in favor of the men. Because that is nothing but awesome for the woman. Their husbands have to practice giving massages until the teacher tells them to stop. (Made the birthing class almost worth it.) Of course, Corbyn spent almost as much time trying to push me over on the birthing ball as he did massaging, but still...
I don't have to go to the bathroom nearly as much as other women. I always thought I had a small bladder, but in a class that long, you learn how small a pregnant woman's bladder really is. I am very happy to report that I went less than all the women... even less than some of the men. (Although, they may have been using it as an escape more than anything. I, on the other hand, was terrified to leave in case I missed the one key secret to a minimal pain labor.)
Someone needs to invent a third option. No, really. The current options suck. Option A: Push a watermelon through the eye of a needle, (Sorry Mom, I know that is kind of gross, but did I mention I am terrified?) Option B: Get sliced in half, have your muscles pulled apart and a baby pulled out, (Does this remind anyone else of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom when he cuts the guys heart out while the poor guy watches himself being ripped apart?)... where is Option C?!?!!!?? That is the one I want - Option C. One that doesn't involve being stitched back up anywhere.
La Leche League is trying to pull a fast one on the entire female gender. Don't get me wrong. I believe in the benefits of breast feeding and totally plan to give it a whirl, but from what I have heard, it can be more painful than the labor itself, because it doesn't last only 24 hrs and end with a miracle... it just keeps hurting and the miracle is what is causing the pain. But, watching the videos, La Leche describes it as "minor discomfort". "If it hurts, you are doing it wrong... but don't stop! Just keep trying. You will figure it out." I have this suspicion that it really does just always hurt, but they figure if they keep telling you that you must be doing it wrong and to keep trying, by the time you throw in the towel, you will have been trying for at least several months, so they have won. And the mother-model for the video? Smiling serenely as if it is the most pleasant experience of her life. I mean, why can't they just be honest? Why can't they just say, "It will hurt like a mother, but it is something you should do for the good of your child."
Lastly - Corbyn's #1 take-away from the birthing class: Women look fine going in and coming out of labor, but there is NOTHING beautiful about the miracle of birth.

Possibly the greatest Cowboy song ever

2008-10-10T13:58:00.000-07:00

I had my playlist on random today and right between an Audioslave and Weezer song, this song played and reminded me how it is one of the greatest songs of all time.

Hill-billy, Redneck, Hick... whatever you want to call it - I am not ashamed of my roots.

Enjoy.

Vegas - 2008

2008-10-04T09:51:00.000-07:00

I had to go to Las Vegas for a conference and Corbyn and I went down early with one of our friends to make a little vacation out of it. (A sad replacement for our cancelled Central America trip, but better than nothing.)

So, for those of you who don't know, Corbyn doesn't like heights. We went to Hoover Dam (which is very, very cool) and it made him feel a little shaky. See pics - (and notice my big prego belly - oh, yeah.)

Did you know that Hoover Dam is one of the 7 wonders of the world?

So, Hoover Dam was a stretch for Corbyn... we kicked it up a notch after that. Corbyn had been talking about how he wanted to ride some roller coasters in Vegas, but was blaming my pregnancy as the reason he couldn't. Well, since Zach came with us, it kind of called his bluff (Vegas language) - we went to the top of the Stratosphere to ride the rides.

First of all, Corbyn was too queasy being up that high to even stand next to the edge. (See picture of me and Zach - Corbyn wouldn't come that close to the

edge.)

So, Corbyn and Zach went on the Big Shot first. I have the FUNNIEST picture of Corbyn that I have ever seen riding the Big Shot, but you are going to have to wait for it, because it is on a thumb drive that is formatted for a PC, so we can't pull it off using our Mac. But, take my word for it, it is HILARIOUS. Zach and I were both laughing so hard we were crying when we saw it. And, I forked over $20 to buy it... it is that funny,

At that point, Corbyn was pretty much done. It took some serious persuading, but we finally convinced him to go on this other ride. (See pics) This ride pretty much just dropped you off the side of the Stratosphere, stopped you abruptly hanging over the edge, and just let you hang out there for awhile. There was a group of old ladies behind me watching Zach and Corbyn ride - it was 3 minutes of listening to 6 70-80 year old women saying, "OOOOoooooohhhhhh", "Oh, my goodness" and "Oh, no!" I think their hearts may have been pumping harder than Zach and Corbyn's. I was pretty sure I was going to have to perform CPR on at least one of them before the ride was over. (If Corbyn's face doesn't give away how scared he was, check out the veins in his arms. He has one of those gripper things (Captain of CRUSH) to build your forearms - all that muscle he built up was clearly put to good use on this ride.)

Other things we did:

Shark Reef Aquarium
ICE - Some Russian ice skating show (It was actually better than we expected when we first walked in to the theater at the Riviera.)
Bodies Exhibit - I know you think that a bodies exhibit in Vegas is referring to something... um, R-rated, at the least, but I am talking about the exhibit that shows real (not alive) human bodies and their components. It was pretty awesome - it is in Salt Lake right now and I recommend it to anyone who doesn't have a weak stomach.
Gambled - Ok, not really. I wanted to, but since I didn't want to lose too much money, I did some research and found that the Hooters Casino has the cheapest tables. Corbyn wasn't super excited to gamble, so I had to talk him into it. I think it is probably a rarity - that the wife has to convince the husband to go to Hooters. So, we went, but it was packed and super smokey, so we left. (Second-hand smoke probably doesn't do great things for the baby.) We did each gamble $1 in the nickel slots at the Riviera while we waited for our show to start. Corbyn lost his $1. I won $15. How many people can say they got a 1500% return on their money in Vegas?
A LOT of eating - sadly, buffets are somewhat wasted on a pregnant lady... not enough room to get your moneys-worth. I still did my best, though.

A glimpse into greatness...

2008-09-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

So, most of you know that a couple months ago, my boss and mentor Kevin passed away. I was thinking about him today and I wanted to share a little glimpse into Kevin's greatness - this is a list Kevin created to provide those who worked for him clarity on what he expected of them, his philosophy on management, and what he expected of himself. He shared this list with me a couple years ago when I first started working for him and it is awesome insight into who Kevin was. He encouraged me to create my own list (which I won't bore you with), but I think everyone should do it... even if it isn't for work, do it for yourself personally. It is interesting to see what you believe in, what you think you believe in, and to see where you come up short. (I try to compare my actions with my list to see if I actually live according to the principles I claim about myself.)

This is Kevin's list - I will restrain myself to only putting the list itself in here, despite the fact that I really want add stories that show how Kevin personified this list - Kevin was what he believed he was, which is not extremely common, in my experience.

Behavioral Expectations

Behave like an owner - be the master of your projects
Have an opinion - what do you recommend?
Be reliable and deliver what was agreed to: results and timing
Be accountable: "victim" mentality is unacceptable
Be thorough and accurate on everything, even the small things
No surprises
Come to meetings prepared and on-time
Ask questions
Anticipate your managements questions
Take risks - learn from mistakes
Provide me with feedback
Take personal responsibility for maintaining a work/life balance

Management Philosophy

Lead by example
If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there
Be bigger than life- physically fit, spiritually fit, confident
Go for the jugular
Acquire professional expertise
Cultivate influential friends (build networks)
Communicate well
Simplify everything
Knowledge is power. Know your projects, know your competition
Select capable, loyal people- Invest in their development
Be honest

My Role

Provide clear strategic direction
I am accountable for everything
Lead management thinking
Manage your development to get you promoted
Identify and eliminate development opportunities
Showcase your accomplishments
Motivate, coach, provide opportunities to grow

I signed up for Facebook - oops.

2008-09-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

Facebook and Twitter are the newest, hottest things in my industry. EVERY large company is trying to figure how they should be integrated into these social networking platforms. At my work, we had a couple ideas on how to utilize this, and to explore/demonstrate these ideas, I had to sign up for an account. I didn't really think much of it at the time - just another work project. Critical mistake, however- I use my actual data. (Name, schools, etc.)

Now, suddenly, I have started getting loads of friend requests. Several from people I don't know (weirdos), but mostly from people I went to high school and college with. Soooo, what I am I supposed to do? I feel totally sucked in. I feel like I can't ignore these friendship requests from people I used to know... they might take it personally and think I am mean. But, I don't really have much desire to get involved in this right now either - I was just doing it for work. So what do I do? I decide I have to accept these friendship requests. So, I go in and accept these requests and think my obligation of friendship to past acquintances is complete - You're my friend - let's call it good.

Not the end of the story, however. Apparently, when you log into your account, it tells people who are in your network that you are logged in. How did I learn about this feature? Well, because I was in a meeting, projecting my computer screen for about 8 people to see, demonstrating some ideas for integration with social networking. I sign into my Facebook account to demonstrate what I am talking about, and suddenly, I get an Instant Message (through Facebook) saying, "Long time, no talk. How's life?" from someone I haven't seen since high school. I quickly close the IM, realizing this poor girl is going to think I am incredibly rude for ignoring her, but I am at work AND in a meeting and really don't have much choice. I resume my demonstration, and suddenly, "Amy Guymon! You got married? I didn't think that was ever going to happen!" pops up on my screen. Same thing- poor guy is going to think I am the devil, but I don't have much of a choice. And I think- surely that has got to be it... surely there aren't THAT many people just hanging out on Facebook, waiting for poor unsuspecting suckers to log in. Well, about 3 minutes later, up comes, "Hey!!! It's the human alphabet! How's it going?"

At that point, I am so red and embarrassed, and everyone else is laughing so hard and having WAAAY too much fun speculating about what the heck that message means - that I can't take it anymore. I just quickly sign out, shut down my browser, log off the internet, and hope that whatever peephole Facebook has opened letting these people know I am online has been closed. And now, I refuse to go back. I am terrified now to sign in to Facebook - scared that there are just hoards of people waiting to pounce as soon as I log in. So, if you want to be my Facebook friend - I am sorry. I refuse to sign in to accept your friendship. I am scared of the consequences.

Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

2008-09-05T08:15:00.000-07:00

My team works very closely with the E-commerce team (obviously - we are the Online Marketing team... Online/Ecommerce - you see the connection.) So, to make sure we have a nice cohesive working relationship between members of the team, we try to schedule a couple cross-department team building activities each year. This picture is from a hike we took in early June this year - we hiked to the top of some mountain behind Draper (don't ask me the name of it.) So, what is this guy doing? We were up high enough that there was still snow around this spring - I told this guy I would buy him a bag of Corn Nuts if we would sit in the spring for 15 seconds wearing all his clothes. (The spring was FREEZING.) He held out... until I offered 2 bags of Corn Nuts. He sure looked ridiculous (and uncomfortable) hiking back down the mountain with the whole back side of his jeans completely soaked. I thought it was hilarious. Have I ever mentioned how easily entertained I am?

So, one other funny picture - this is a picture of a couple of us sitting down for lunch on this hike. Notice who happens to have the pile of food. In my defense, I was pregnant at the time. :) OK, actually, I was one of only two people who thought to bring a back pack. So, I was lucky enough to haul EVERYONE'S sandwiches, chips, and drinks up the mountain. Incidentally, when we got to the top, one of the guys I work with said, "Amy, you really shouldn't be carrying that heavy bag while you're pregnant." Yeah, AFTER we got to the top.

And what the heck does "stat" mean anyway?

2008-09-04T10:33:00.000-07:00

I have seen ER - I know that when there is a gunshot victim, doctors need 2 quarts of saline and a blood transfusion "stat!" So, I always assumed "stat" meant fast, immediately, emergency, etc. But people keep coming in here to get their blood drawn and the blood drawers (what is their official title?) keep asking if it is "stat". I assume these people walking in here very leisurely aren't gunshot victims and that if this was an emergency, these people would be at a hospital emergency room, not a lab. So, does anyone want to fill me in on what "stat" really means in the medical environment?

Twilight - apparently, it is a big deal

2008-09-04T10:28:00.000-07:00

I haven't jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. (I managed to successfully completely avoid the Harry Potter bandwagon - I haven't read a word of any of the books or watched more than 30 seconds of the movie.) But apparently, people are almost fanatical about this book series. The women in this clinic haven't stopped talking about it in the 2 1/2 hours I have been here. All about the characters and how someone has some special power that hasn't been used yet (or something). And about how the author borrowed the first 300 pages of her latest book to a friend to get her opinion and the friend posted it on the internet, so now the author has decided she may never finish the series (insert anger at the friend and some sniffs of sadness here).

Vampires in high school... I just don't get it.

What kind of idiot decided 3 hours of fasting would work for pregnant women?

2008-09-04T08:37:00.000-07:00

I failed my first blood glucose test, which means I may have gestational diabetes. But, the test has a high rate of false positives, so it means I get to come hang out at this clinic for 3 hours FASTING while they do a more in-depth blood glucose test. I have several issues with this:

Issue #1. The doctor said I could leave between my hourly blood draws. So, Corbyn and I showed up planning to do a little shopping between the pokes of the needle. But, apparently, we were misinformed - you can't leave because a lot of women faint, throw-up, etc. during this test. Also, you can't expend much energy because that could influence the results. So, instead of getting some needed errands done, I now just have to hang out and waste 3 hours of my life. (Luckily, my laptop goes with me where ever I go, so at least I can be doing something during these 3 hours.) - And poor Corbyn - he was trying to be a good, supportive husband and now got sucked in to 3 hours of wasted time. (He actually left and is going to come back to get me, but considering it takes 30 minutes each way to get here, he pretty much just wasted 2 hours of his morning.)

Issue #2: If you throw up, you have to start the test entirely over. WHAT???!!??? These doctors have spent the past 7 months telling me that I have to eat something at least every 2 hours so I can stop puking so much - and that didn't really work great (I still puke alot), but at least it helped stem the tide. Now they tell me I have to go 3 hours without eating, AND I can't puke. Um, OK. So, I am sitting here trying to not get nauseous (I have gotten really good at delaying the inevitable barf, so I am hoping I can make it), but this women next to me isn't making it any easier. She is also doing the 3 hour blood test and she is having a very hard time of it. She is breathing VERY hard, sweating, grunting, dry-heaving, etc... it would probably be comical if she didn't look/sound exactly how I am feeling.

Issue #3: 100 grams of sugar in the most disgusting drink ever. I can think of many, many more pleasant ways to down 100 grams of sugar than the disgusting, concentrated syrup they give you to drink. Give me a Twinkie or some Oreos... that would at least make one part of this ordeal enjoyable.

I mean really - is this the best technology modern medicine has been able to dream up?

Ugh - Jalapeños

2008-08-31T19:03:00.000-07:00

I was doing so well. I hadn't puked in two solid weeks, but I just managed to confirm what I learned early in my pregnancy: Jalapeños are DEFINITELY on the list of the Top 3 WORST things to puke. :(

The alien in my belly

2008-08-25T20:53:00.000-07:00

Corbyn is in Idaho this week and the movie Alien was on TV last night... I made the mistake of watching it alone and, despite the fact that it was made in the 1970's AND I have seen it before, it totally freaked me out. I couldn't sleep last night... I was tempted to get my shotgun to protect myself from the Aliens I SWEAR were in my house last night.

When I talked to Corbyn tonight, I told him that I was freaked out from watching Alien and he was making fun of me... all I have to say is that he can't really make fun of me about being freaked out until he feels like he has an alien ready to break through his belly! (Is it just me or does a baby moving in your belly feel freakily like Alien?)

And, on a complete side note, I swear, the baby bonked her head on my rib cage today.

Pirate Corbyn...

2008-08-20T08:49:00.000-07:00

In order for you to understand this story, I have to provide a little background:

About 4 years ago (actually, pretty close to exactly 4 years ago, because is was during the 2004 Olympics), a group of us friends went to Costa Rica and Nicaragua on a trip. While there, I was exposed to the most enormous bugs of my life. Huge. Like, one night, we chased (yes, literally CHASED) a huge bug around the room of our hostel because it was so LOUD just walking around none of us could sleep. I swear, it was the size of a small mouse. It was absolutely disgusting. And, since Corbyn spent 2 years of his life in Nicaragua on his mission, you might understand that he has come home with some...uh, bug issues. They never express themselves during the day, but at night, when he is asleep and his subconsciousness takes over, his true phobias come out. Like, if I accidentally touch him in the night, he FREAKS out. (Like, jumps out of the bed slapping himself to kill whatever bug touched him.)

Which leads me to my story and the picture: A couple nights ago, Corbyn dreamed (I didn't even touch him) that a bug was crawling on his face. So, he went to slap it away and managed to jam his thumb right in his eye. In the morning, his eye was swollen shut and emitting a steady stream of tears. And, it was difficult for him to even open his other eye. Being the helpful wife that I am, I got one of my bandanna's and tried to tie it over his one eye, but he thought it looked dumb, so he wouldn't wear it. But, he should learn to listen to me... since his vision was somewhat altered due to only being able to see out of one eye, when he went to adjust a pillow, he managed to jam his thumb BACK in his eye. So, he tied the bandanna back on... Amy always knows best. I bought him a super sweet eye patch after work that night - see picture.

Booth babes and crazy New Yorkers

2008-08-19T07:40:00.000-07:00

So, prepare yourself for a bunch of posts to this blog... I am in New York at a conference which means my day is a cycle of 1 hour sessions followed by a 45 minute break during which I am supposed to go talk to voice recognition/speech automation vendors. But, I am not interested in being sold anything today, so I will likely just catch up on email and blog. :)

Here is what I love about these conferences: the Booth Babes and the fact that you can't find anything other than coffee to drink.

So, what are booth babes? They are the hot chicks hired to stand at a vendors booth, wear skimpy clothes and pull in poor suckers who don't realize (or rather, don't care) that these girls don't actually know anything about the product they are "representing", they are just there to start the conversation. So, the men initiate the conversation, thinking, "I don't mind being sold something, as long as it is by this hot 20 year old in a mini skirt and sports bra looking thing." And then, sadly, the booth babe engages in conversation only until the slick sales guy in alligator skin shoes has finished up with the last poor sucker and can take over the conversation. Not being a man, I don't understand if the poor suckers are clueless to this process or if they are really just that desperate to talk to a pretty girl, so they don't care. I mean honestly, what kind of business person would buy a multi-million dollar software package from a person wearing hot shorts and a tube top?) This ploy seems pretty transparent to me, but again... I am not a man, so maybe not. Any man willing to clear this up for me?

Second favorite thing about conferences: the fact that coffee is the ONLY drink available. Surely, I am not the ONLY non-coffee drinker in this industry. The only options currently are coffee, de-caf, or hot water (for tea). I have considered getting myself some hot water in a cup and just letting it sit for an extended period of time to cool off, but then I discovered my other sneaky option - they have small pitchers of 2% milk as a healthy option to cream to put in your coffee... I sure get some strange looks grabbing a coffee cup and dumping the entire contents of one of those 2% milk pitchers in... desperate times.

And, my last comment for this blog - New Yorkers are crazy. I went to the bathroom after landing in New York (compliments of pregnancy that I couldn't wait until I made it to the hotel) and there was a line. So, while standing in line, I noticed there was a crazy lady on all fours UNDER the baby changing table. And, what's more... she was apparently talking to herself. Huh? Now, the obvious thought is, "Oh, poor crazy homeless lady escaped from a mental institution." But this lady was clearly not homeless... she had the full-on fur and jewelry action going on. So, as the line moved forward, I really strained to see what the heck was going on under there. When I get close enough, I could hear she was saying stuff like, "Come on honey, just come out. You need to go to the bathroom." "You are going to need to go sooner or later and now is the time." "I'll get you a treat if you just come out and try to go." So, then I was even more confused because it was WAY too small for a child to be under there with her. So, I had to look, even though it was obvious. (I had to bend over as far as my prego body would let me.) It was a little mini hideous cat in a mini kennel. I had the hardest time not laughing out loud... I mean honestly, why the heck was THIS the opportune moment for the cat to go to the bathroom? I can only assume it is because we were in a bathroom, which I guess means she was going to put the cat on the toilet? (Uh, Meet the Parents anyone?) She was still coaxing when I came out of the stall... New Yorkers are CRAZY!!!

Poor, poor Corbyn

2008-08-15T12:19:00.000-07:00

Corbyn had a very, very funny post on here... his first blog ever. All about how my family reunion may have been the funnest event he has ever attended in his life, how motorcycle helmets are not meant to be thrown, tossed, set in the dirt, left in the sun, etc., how pasta salad needs pepperoni, how baby's diapers should not be changed on picnic tables where people will be eating soon, and lastly, how men are the real victims of pregnancy. I saw it, and emailed him that I was offended that he felt victimized by my pregnancy - I was kidding (mostly), but apparently, he really is victimized, because it struck so much fear into him that he deleted the post. For those of you who didn't get to read it before he deleted it, you missed out. For those of you who aren't his wife (and therefore NOT the one victimizing him), it was probably extremely funny.

So, I learned something about myself. Apparently, I am a very scary pregnant woman. I've heard about those...

Squats are soooo last week

2008-07-30T07:50:00.000-07:00

So, I tried to do squats yesterday as part of my leg workout. I don't know what happened between last week and this week, but I feel like my belly must have doubled in size or something. Last week, squats were uncomfortable, but do-able. This week, they were just plain comical. Luckily, no one was around to see. (At least, as far as I know.) Every rep, I tried widening my stance to make room for my belly, until finally, my legs were so far apart, there wasn't really any up-and-down movement when I squatted- I was just kind of standing there with a bar on my shoulders bobbing.

So, I guess my squat days are over for the next 3 months, which really bites, because it is my favorite leg exercise. Unless any of you formerly pregnant women have figured out a trick you are willing to share with me on how to compensate for the big belly - I am definitely open to suggestions.

Just a random funny story...

2008-07-18T16:03:00.000-07:00

I was weeding my garden the other day and as I weeded around my melons, I was reminded of a very funny story. (Forgive me, Heather, I have to share.)

So, Heather (my sister) last year planted a garden. Mid-summer rolled around and she decided that although her cucumbers were somewhat small and oddly shaped, she just couldn't wait any longer - she wanted to eat one right now. So, she picked one, took it in the house, peeled it, cut it up, and ate it. Apparently, it was disgusting. So disgusting that she decided she wasn't a fan of that particular breed of cucumber and she would just leave them in the garden to rot... it would be good fertilizer.

Well, a month or two later, she wandered back out into her garden and discovered a miracle! Those disgusting, oddly shaped cucumbers and magically transformed into... melons.

No, my sister does not have blond hair. Yes, she got good grades in school. Yes, she has been in a garden before. Yes, she has seen both melons and cucumbers before. I can't really explain it... I guess she just is very driven... she wanted a cucumber, so she made one (in her head, at least).

Sorry, Heather, I didn't mean to out you, but it is just too funny not to tell.

The greatest compliment of my life...

2008-07-06T20:09:00.000-07:00

So, here is the argument I had with Corbyn last weekend.

Corbyn is not great at giving compliments... ok, so compliments are non-existent with him. While I am pretty used to it, it has started wearing now that I am getting pregnant fat. So, I told Corbyn that I need at least one compliment a month. He was shocked and offended... in his mind, he had been giving me great compliments all along. Here is our conversation:

Amy: You need to give me at least one compliment a month. And you need to get used to it, because our little girl is going to need compliments every once in a while, too.

Corbyn: I do give compliments!!!

Amy: Really? Like when?

Corbyn: Like the other day... I told you I thought you were doing a good job not gaining weight too fast.

Um... yeah. So, somehow, Corbyn thinks, "You aren't getting fat too fast" is a compliment. I can see the positive reinforcement in it, but I just can't quite stretch it to compliment. Obviously, we have some work to do before our little girl becomes a teenager, otherwise, she is going to have major self esteem problems.

I spoke too soon...

2008-07-01T06:32:00.000-07:00

I was all excited about going 8 days without puking. Well, I shouldn't have even commented on it, because you know how that goes. As soon as I comment, my good luck reverses. 4 nights in a row of puking again... I am back on the wagon. Ugh.

My new favorite line...

2008-06-30T20:33:00.000-07:00

So, this post is for all the women out there.

As I have mentioned in several previous posts, I work for a great company. The president of the company stopped by my office on Thursday to see if I would be interested in going to the Jerry Seinfeld show on Friday night. (Which, of course, I was.) So, he gave Corbyn and I tickets. There were many funny jokes, but I noticed Corbyn laughed extra hard at one of them... because I think it is probably pretty true. Jerry was talking about "tone" and the difference between a man and a woman. The basic jist - a man walks into his buddy's house and says, "I am hungry. What is there to eat?" (said with a tone). The buddy says, "Eat whatever the hell you want." If a man walks into his own house and says, "I am hungry. What is there to eat?" (said with a tone), the woman says, "Why are you yelling at me?" For some reason, we women feel personally responsible for a man's hunger and his helpless inability to provide himself with sustenance. So, when I noticed Corbyn thinking that was sooooooooo funny (and realizing it was only funny because it was true), I adopted my new favorite line. From now on, whenever Corbyn asks what is for dinner or whines because I put beans in his Pork Barbacoa Salad, or use applesauce to make the cake a little healthier, I am just going to say, "Eat whatever the hell you want." (Sorry, mom.) I used that line three times over the weekend... you would be surprised at how liberating it is. And, I believe Corbyn will think twice before laughing quite so hard at a joke again.

By the way, I typed this whole thing without my contacts in, so if there are spelling or grammar errors, I blame my blindness.

It's a.......

2008-06-29T17:31:00.000-07:00

GIRL!!!!

Wow - ultrasounds are amazing! Here are some pics, if you are good enough to make out what they are. (And if you care.) They said everything on the baby was normal, except that she has an extra large brain. OK, not really. They just said everything was normal and I am two days ahead of where they would expect me to be for a November 19th due date. (Which is awesome... I would rather have it sooner, so I am fully recovered for Thanksgiving dinner and (more importantly), combat shopping for the Black Friday sales!!!

So, it was the double whammy for Corbyn. We went in to the ultrasound and he found out it was a girl. He did pretty good, but it was obvious he was a little disappointed. Then, we went in for my monthly check-up, and because I have negative blood, he had to get his blood drawn, so they can check his blood type. He HATES needles (whimp). So, yes, it was a very, very hard day for Corbyn. :) And I couldn't even be the supportive wife for him through this traumatic ordeal, because Heather was calling for the 10th time to find out the gender. (Just kidding, Heather.)

Then, last night, he got to see the baby move for the first time. I have tried to help him feel it, but he pushes very hard on my stomach every time (typical man... not so gentle), so he just makes me need to pee instead of feeling the baby move. So he hasn't ever felt it. But I saw her moving last night, so I made him watch and he saw something stick out of my belly for a second. I think it kind of freaked him out. He kept saying, "You just have some weird gas or something."

8 days and no puke! It's gotta be a record!!!

2008-06-24T14:37:00.000-07:00

The title says it all... I am just so excited about it, I have to share!

Other exciting news? My ultrasound is Friday, so we get to find out what we're having!!! Stay tuned...

The count:

Days without puking: 8
Weight gained: 11 lbs.
Slurpee's consumed: 4
Weirdest craving so far: Nothing... I think it comes from being sick so much... I dislike eating these days. :(

My tribute to Kevin, my mentor & friend

2008-06-17T08:06:00.000-07:00

Sorry - this posting isn't even going to attempt to be funny. Feel free to skip right past it, but I feel the desire to write my feelings.

I lost someone last week who was very special to me. A very different kind of loss than any I have experienced before... I have lost family members and friends before, but last week, I lost my mentor.

He was my boss in title... the Chief Marketing Officer at 1-800 CONTACTS. When I have tried to talk to others about him, they seem almost dismayed that I would feel such a sense of personal loss about someone not related. Which makes me incredibly sad... it shows me how rare a true mentor is... anyone who has had a great mentor would understand my grief.

Kevin was an amazing person. He was so full of life that you learned about life just by watching him... He was an amazing marketer and business man... sitting in a meeting or a 1 on 1 with him was like drinking from the fire hose of knowledge... whatever capacity you had to drink, he had more than enough to provide. He was such a strong advocate for him employees - even on the huge and/or new projects or roles where you weren't sure if you could do it, he always knew and somehow made you believe that you could. He was a great coach - able to provide guidance and direction in a subtle and completely inoffensive way. He was lavish with his praise... which only made you want to do better. He was a tremendous leader... anyone in the company who's seen the executive team interact knew that Kevin WAS the executive team. He was a wonderful friend. The most amazing thing about Kevin was that he was not all these things just to me, but to all who knew him. You didn't have to work directly for Kevin, or even interact with him much, to recognize what an amazing person he was and to learn from him.

My favorite memory of Kevin, possibly because it was my last real interaction with him before he died, occurred the Friday before his death. We were on a conference call with Wal-Mart. They had been stalling and delaying on a project I was leading. I had communicated this delay to Kevin and, as the great boss he always was, he fully understood his role as facilitator... to remove obstacles for his people. We got on this conference call and he started yelling, calling out people who were failing to make timely decisions, demanding action from Wal-Mart executives, etc. If I were on the other end of the phone call, I would have thought he was incredibly demanding and frankly, a little scary. But they didn't have the perspective of sitting next to him... being able to see him. The whole time, he had a huge smile on his face and was giving me two thumbs up... letting me know it was all for show. It was so Kevin.

My feelings are so complicated... I feel so much gratitude- that I was able to know him for almost 4 years and work directly for him for 2 years. I feel so much regret- that my capacity to drink wasn't greater during the time his fountain of knowledge was available. I feel so robbed - 4 years was such a short time to learn all he had to offer. I feel so hopeless - I can't imagine I will ever find a mentor like him again. I feel so much desire... to be for someone else what he was for me. I feel so much pain - I will deeply miss my friend.

Words fall short - he was an amazing man.

Who can say they've been in their bosses shoes?

2008-05-22T15:56:00.000-07:00

Well, I can. Literally, in his shoes.

We went to Philadelphia for work to do some qualitative research and decided to go to the Franklin Institute to see the King Tut exhibit in our spare time. (It was awesome and I would love to show pictures of the King Tut exhibit, but unfortunately, they don't allow photography.)

Anyway - in other areas of the museum they have other scientific-related exhibits... one of them was a flight simulator that looked awesome and I REALLY wanted to go on it, but I was wearing sandals and they required closed toe shoes. I guess I looked sufficiently dejected, because my boss offered his shoes. It looked awesome enough that I took him up on his offer - even in my bare feet. See the picture - I am wearing my bosses shoes.

How many Amy Larson's do you know?

2008-05-14T10:19:00.000-07:00

I met someone today who told me it would be easy to remember my name because he had a sister-in-law whose name was Amy Larson. Great.

I knew my name was going to be extremely vanilla when I married Corbyn, but today, I realized how vanilla. After this comment, I went to Google and did a search for "Amy Larson". 9,470 search results. I wasn't patient enough to look through more than 3 pages, but I wasn't any of the Amy Larson's listed on any of those pages. I did a search under "Amy Guymon" (maiden name)... 47 search results. And several of them were me. I just share my maiden name with some defendant in Montana, but my married name??? Innumerable.

Welcome to the world of ambiguity. Ah, what a nice feeling.

Now, I guess I understand when Corbyn comes up with names like "Rocket" or "Indy" for our baby. He is trying to create a little uniqueness... no one will even need to hear the last name if he calls up and says, "Hi, this is Rocket..." Yeah, you'll only know ONE of those.

I am such a bad blogger...

2008-05-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

OK, so my New Years Resolution was to keep this blog up to date, as defined by a minimum of two postings/month. Yikes! I failed on that resolution in April... only 4 months into the year.

So, my excuse... well, you may have noticed that I didn't post any pictures of our trip. Most of you probably know why... we didn't actually go on our trip. I developed this strange disease where you puke constantly, yet still somehow develop a beer belly... it's scientific name is Pregnantitis. (OK, that was dumb.) Yes, I am pregnant. And apparently, I am a puker. This came as quite a shock and a blow to my self esteem (I have always considered myself tough... uh, apparently, not so much.)

So, for the past seven weeks, I have been dealing with morning and evening sickness. And, as disgusting as it is to puke into the nice, clean public bathrooms at my work, I can't imagine how disgusting it would be to puke into third world toilets (or outhouses, depending on the area). So, the trip to Nicaragua and Costa Rica has been postponed until further notice. (Not to mention that I couldn't get the vaccinations for hepatitis, malaria, and typhoid you need when traveling in that part of the world and eating food from street vendors.)

So, now, back to the puking. (I know, it is disgusting and you don't care, but this has been a very new experience for me, so I can't help but talk about it.) Constant vomiting. I am proud to say that it hasn't prevented me from going to work - I have yet to miss a day. (I did, however, have to go home early one day because my projectile-force vomit caused significant back-splash from the toilet... yeah, basically, I got puke on my shirt.) It's all good, though. Things are finally looking up. On Saturday, I told Corbyn I wanted to go to Carl's Jr. to get a Guacamole Bacon Six Dollar Burger (85 grams of delicious fatness in that bad boy), large fry, and a shake - I was going to eat it all and not feel bad about it, because I was just going to puke it all back up later that night, anyway. So I ate, and, for the first night in 7 weeks, didn't puke. Figures.

What else? Well, my first prenatal doctors visit sure was interesting. You would think, with 2 sisters and 4 sisters-in-law, all of whom have kids, that I would be a little more prepared for what happens at those. Well, I sure wasn't prepared, and Corbyn, having NO sisters and no exposure to the pains/embarrassment of being a woman, was even less prepared. I guarantee that doctor had never seen someone vacate a room so quickly... I could barely convince him to stay in the room long enough to hear the baby's heartbeat. We did get to hear the baby's heartbeat, though. Wow. That is all I can say.

So, the official tally:

- 13 weeks
- Gained 2 lbs.
- Puked innumerable times (I wish I would have kept a tally of the number of times I have puked, but I didn't really think of that.)
- 4 days in a row of not puking
- Only 2 slurpee's consumed so far (I am so proud.)

I am sooooo funny...

2008-04-11T14:30:00.000-07:00

So, you probably can't see the picture well enough to tell what it is... and that is probably a good thing. But it is my only proof, so I have to show what there is of it.

I came home from work the other day and Corbyn had a horrible headache. I told him the best remedy for a headache was a bath. It took some talking, but I convinced him he needed to try it. I told him to relax and I would get it all ready for him. (What a nice wife...)

So, here is my manly husband, in the bathtub complete with candles, bubble bath, and scented salts... I hope you all laugh as hard as I do every time I think about it.

Thirty, Flirty, and Thriving

2008-03-29T14:23:00.000-07:00

That was the banner Heather made me to console me on my 30th birthday. Corbyn and I went riding our motorcycles for the first time this year the day before my birthday. I always overestimate how good of shape I am in... I woke up on my birthday feeling every day of 30, but far from flirty and thriving.

The good news... Corbyn and I leave on our vacation of Friday. 10 days in Costa Rica and Nicaragua. I should definitely have some awesome stories and pictures when we get back... we'll see if they top the last trip down there. I think a cat falling through the roof of an airport is pretty hard to beat, but we'll see. That is the beauty of these trips... you never know what is going to happen. :)

Oh, and the other good news... we will finally be finishing our rolls of film that have our last trip to Cabo on them, so I should have TWO vacations worth of pictures to upload. I am sure you are on the edge of your seat.

I stumbled into the wrong session...

2008-03-06T13:40:00.000-08:00

So, I am the Omniture Annual Convention right now, sitting in a session that is flying COMPLETELY over my head. Omniture is a web analytics tool... I consider myself a power user, so I attend the advanced track. (I am not arrogant, I swear. Heck, I was even invited to be on the Customer Advisory Board for them. It's like if your high school teacher recommends you to be the Sterling Scholar... such a big deal to... well, a couple people.)

The title of the session "Advanced - Using API's to get the right data in the right place". So, I am fully aware of the fact that I do not have a degree in Computer Science, but in my online marketing career, I have been around a lot of code. I can read some of it... heck, I can even write some. I was even ranked the 3rd most advanced Excel user in a previous session, since I know what ctrl/shift/enter does. (I was beat out by some Visual Basic reference. Dang VB.) I know what an API is... I am excited Omniture just announced the availability of an API... I know all the cool stuff that can be done with an API. So, all this leads me to believe that I am smart enough to attend this session.

The fact that I am typing on my blog right now should indicate to you how much I overestimated my own smartness. SOAP, XML based HTTP post, a bunch of symbols and functions I can't type fast enough to capture... I have no idea. It is all going right over my head. I should have known by the fact that I was the only woman in the room. But, it isn't too uncommon... I didn't think much of it at the time.

So, why don't I leave, you might ask? I made the critical mistake of sitting in the middle of the row. And at the front of the room. Geek on the left has his laptop open, geek at the right has his laptop open. There is no room for me to get by without causing some major commotion. And, if I were to leave, all the computer geeks in the room would look at me and think, "I knew that chick didn't belong in here." If a sit here and type, they all think, "Whoah. That chick knows code."

So, I suffer for all womankind.

SQL Server 2005

2008-03-02T17:57:00.001-08:00

My work was upgrading to SQL Server 2005. Since I am the business owner of the website, I had to be on-site to sign off that it was working to my approval. The upgrade began at 9:00PM Saturday night and we finally left at 4:30am Sunday morning. Several pizza's and pitchers of Vanilla Coke into the night, we were all feeling a little punchy. While the DBA's (Database administrators) finished up their work, I teamed up with the Ecommerce Manager and QA Manager to write a little song about our efforts that night. Keep in mind that experts say your best work comes when you first wake up in the morning and we were coming up on our 21st hour of sleeplessness. Enjoy.

Happy February 29th!

2008-03-02T17:49:00.000-08:00

Yeah, so, I realize this posting is a few days after February 29th, but surely you didn't expect me to take any of that precious day to type something on the computer!!!! Definitely not! I took the day off work in celebration of the momentous occasion. I am 29 and February 29th comes only once every 4 years. I really, really wanted to go buy a lottery ticket, because I am pretty sure it was the luckiest day of my whole life, but practicality (or Corbyn) took over and I realized the frivolity of driving so far just for a $1 ticket. So, I missed my chance to win the lottery. I blame practicality (or Corbyn).

Karen, Joan, and I went with our husbands to lunch... It was Corbyn's first outing with us all. Hopefully, I had sufficiently prepared him and he wasn't too shocked with how funny (aka. annoying) we are when we are together. It was a good time.

A sample of Corbyn's hot motocross action

2008-02-02T15:30:00.000-08:00

Here is a video of one of Corbyn's Rocky Mountain Raceway (RMR) races. Enjoy. (Also, notice the fine video-grapher work.)

Just call me Mario Andretti

2008-01-31T15:18:00.000-08:00

So, I just got the pics to prove it, so now I have to rub it in a little:

So, I work for the greatest company ever... one evidence of this is that every quarter, the Marketing Department has a team building activity. Our Q3 team building activity was Go-Cart Racing on the Larry H. Miller Speedway. These carts are AWESOME! They go 50-60 MPH and it is outdoor, so the track is large enough you can actually get a little speed. I totally recommend it.

Here is the best I can do at a play-by-play on a blog: (I know you all care...)

Picture 1: At the starting line... (notice, I did not start in first place) (Also, recognize me by my sweet green helmet.)

Picture 2: Amy takes the lead...

Picture 3: Amy starts lapping people

Picture 4: Amy crosses the finish line with no one else in sight.

Picture 5: Co-workers check out Amy's ride, thinking it must be the go-cart that caused such an explosive victory. Thus, Amy is challenged to a rematch. (Which, of course, I was fine with, since it meant I got to race again.)

Picture 6: Amy is given the "slow go-cart" for the re-match. (Actually, it was just the go-cart that had taken last place.)

Picture 7: Amy wins again.

That is right, I am the undisputed Champion of Go-Cart racing. Of course, I keep hearing excuses like, "Yeah, but it is only because she is a girl and weighs less"... blah, blah. Whatever. Men just can't take losing to a girl.

And, just in case any talent agents read this, I am open to sponsorship opportunities.

Rock of Love - 2008!!!

2008-01-21T10:11:00.000-08:00

OK, so I probably shouldn't name this post "Rock of Love" for fear that people might think I actually watch that show. Which I don't. Except for once. OK, maybe twice. But it was totally on accident. At least, one time was totally on accident. The other time, I was just really, really bored. Really. I don't watch it. I swear.

Anyway, so the Sunday before New Years, I was talking to one of my neighbors when she came to pick up her daughter from our Sunbeam class and we decided it would be awesome if we had a Rock Star party for New Years. (OK, it wasn't totally original. Corbyn's brother Collyn had been invited to one and Corbyn thought it sounded awesome.) So, anyway, the format: dress like an 80's Rocker and play Guitar Hero all night.

So, Corbyn and I went to DI on Monday and picked ourselves out some awesome 80's Rocker clothes. I went as Madonna (well, as Madonna as you can be while still remaining fully clothed) and Corbyn went as... you guessed it, Bret Michaels (Poisen lead singer and the star of Rock of Love (hence the title of this post)). It was awesome. I will post some pics as soon as I get them from my neighbor, but Corbyn had a long, blonde wig (compliments of my niece Madelyn's Hannah Montana Halloween costume), a bandana, my straw cowboy hat, a totally 80's denim jacket, and a tight black t-shirt. AND he put on eyeliner. It was perfect. He was the hit of the party. All the other guys were pretty jealous of his sweet wig and hat... it got passed around a little. (Don't tell Madelyn.) It was pretty hilarious actually - it is surprising how men lose a lot of their inhibitions when wearing a long wig. I guess it is the closet rock star in them...

Also, for anyone who has not yet jumped on the Guitar Hero bandwagon, I highly recommend it. It was a blast.

Corbyn's huge trophy

2008-01-09T20:14:00.000-08:00

So, I thought you guys might want to see Corbyns enormous trophy. (And how hot he looks in his suit.) :)

1-20-08 comment: OK, so someone asked me what his huge trophy was for... they thought maybe he participated in a body-building competition. (But no, the only flex dances Corbyn will do are in the privacy of our own home. Which he has actually never done, but I am still hoping.) So, to clarify, this trophy was for taking 2nd in the Rocky Mountain Raceway Motocross Series.

Washington DC and the MXdN

2008-01-09T19:19:00.001-08:00

So, our trip to the Motocross of Nations was AWESOME. It included:

MXdN - So cool - US dominated every race and we were able to see Ricky Carmichael's last ride. It was PACKED. We had Europeans invading our personal space and blowing cigarette smoke EVERYWHERE. Reportedly, 70,000 people attended. It was awesome.
Spotsylvania (Bloodiest battle of the Civil War - this is the battle where the 21 inch tree was shot down by small arms fire. We saw the stump of the tree, trenches where both the Union and Confederacy were dug in, a few cannon, etc. Pretty awesome.)
Fredericksburg (Another Civil War battle site)
The house where Stonewall Jackson died. (Confederate General)
National Air and Space Museum - Tel, you would have been in heaven. Corbyn was. We spent about 6 hours here - I was done in about 4... I can only look at space shuttles for so long. Corbyn would have liked more time... I guess it is a guy thing. Space holds limited interest for me.
Holocaust Museum - I don't really know what to say about this... it was very moving... and interesting... and disturbing.
Museum of Natural History - unfortunately, this is NOT the one in Night at the Museum. We did get to see a lot of interesting stuff here, including the Hope Diamond. (WOW!)
Museum of American History - we didn't actually go here, because it is closed for renovation, but they took the 500 most popular artifacts and put them in a special display in the Air and Space Museum... it had the Sun Stone from the Navoo temple, C3PO and R2D2 from Star Wars (the originals), Jerry Seinfeld's puffy shirt, etc.
Arlington Cemetery - my favorite (besides the MXdN, of course) - we were able to see an actual funeral procession. They had a guard of soldiers, the horse drawn casket draped in a flag, the drummer, the bugler and they were leading a riderless horse. Wow. I almost cried. (And you know how rarely that happens...) Also, they laid a wreath on the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, another very rare occurrence. We were in the right place at the right time.
Arlington House - I never actually knew this before visiting here, but this was the home of Robert E. Lee - Arlington Cemetery began as a slap in his face for accepting command of the Confederate Army, rather than the Union. They just starting piling the bodies of Union Soldiers on his estate.
ALL the monuments and memorials. So, this doesn't sound like much, but this is A LOT of walking. I heard about 4 miles round trip - it felt more like 10. My favorite was probably the WWII monument - it was pretty cool.
Of course we walked past the White House and Capitol.
Lastly, I have to mention Captain Billy's. A little restaurant right on the Potomac in Maryland. We decided we wanted to try crab - the whole thing, not just the legs. Yuck. You have to break them open and something yellow (I am not sure if it is poop or brains) splats everywhere. With this very pleasant sticky substance all over your hands, you then proceed to move all the guts out of the way to get at the teeny tiny ounce of meat in the crab shell. Once you extract it (using your poopy/brainy hands) it actually tastes pretty good, if you dare eat it. Regardless of the taste, however, I am a crab LEGS kind of girl. Ugh. The rest just isn't worth it.

Conquering the Mountain

2008-01-09T18:54:00.000-08:00

So, for anyone who has been to our house, you know that we live between Utah Lake and a mountain. On the top of this mountain are a bunch of radio towers. Corbyn has been obsessed with going up the the radio towers since the day we moved in.

We tried it once - 2 wrecks and a lost contact lens later, we had to head home. Yes, both wrecks were mine. I could see Corbyn sitting at the top of this rocky hill just waiting for me (possibly laughing... with the helmet, you can't tell) It was too steep to wreck and start from where you were stopped - wrecking meant you had to ride back down and start over. It was killing me... I kept making it about 3/4 of the way only to hit an enormous rock (probably not really that huge) and fall over. I wrecked and started over twice... the second time, my contact lens came out and we had to call it a day.

We tried again - this time I succeeded. Look closely at the picture - you can see me swelling with pride. (You may be wondering if I made it up this time incident free? Don't ask... I am not even sure how many times I wrecked. The important thing is that I made it to the top.)

1-20-08 comment: So, I have had a couple people email and ask me why Corbyn and I are on the same bike in the picture. They asked if we rode up on the same bike, which actually made me laugh so hard, I almost cried. (I can't imagine trying to ride up that with two people on one bike.) No, in reality, it is because I was too chicken to get my bike so close to the edge. After picking my bike up innumerable times on the way up, I didn't trust my strength in getting the bike stopped in time. I probably would have gone over the edge.

Mesa Verde - Labor Day

2008-01-01T19:01:00.000-08:00

So, I am going to be doing a little catching up the next couple weeks, so I can share my photos with ya'll.

As some of you know, I convinced Corbyn to go with me to Mesa Verde over the Labor Day holiday. A couple of lessons learned:

1. Monticello/Blanding is a long and boring freaking drive. Tom/Nancy - I don't know how you do it.

2. Bring your own firewood to National Parks. We planned to "rough it"... we brought a tarp and our sleeping bags, along with a cooler full of breakfast food to cook on the campfire, thinking we would gather our own wood. Not allowed. (Probably so they can make a steal getting niave campers like us to pay $7/bundle.

3. Deer in National Parks are not afraid of humans. Yes, one almost ran us over in our sleeping bags. I missed it... I was asleep, but when I woke up, Corbyn and Zach were both kind of freaking out. NOTE: this is not the first time Corbyn has been awakened by the wildlife while camping. About 4 years ago, we were camping near Bear Lake and I woke up to see Corbyn standing in the middle of our camp in nothing but his undies. He thought he heard a bear.

4. The old indians were obsessed with bathtubs. Ok, yeah, so "archeologists" call them Kivas and say they were ceremonial, but to me... they are just bathtubs. Everywhere. Half the space in the house was occupied by the bathtub.