Dirty deeds, done dirt cheap

My team works very closely with the E-commerce team (obviously - we are the Online Marketing team... Online/Ecommerce - you see the connection.) So, to make sure we have a nice cohesive working relationship between members of the team, we try to schedule a couple cross-department team building activities each year. This picture is from a hike we took in early June this year - we hiked to the top of some mountain behind Draper (don't ask me the name of it.) So, what is this guy doing? We were up high enough that there was still snow around this spring - I told this guy I would buy him a bag of Corn Nuts if we would sit in the spring for 15 seconds wearing all his clothes. (The spring was FREEZING.) He held out... until I offered 2 bags of Corn Nuts. He sure looked ridiculous (and uncomfortable) hiking back down the mountain with the whole back side of his jeans completely soaked. I thought it was hilarious. Have I ever mentioned how easily entertained I am?

So, one other funny picture - this is a picture of a couple of us sitting down for lunch on this hike. Notice who happens to have the pile of food. In my defense, I was pregnant at the time. :) OK, actually, I was one of only two people who thought to bring a back pack. So, I was lucky enough to haul EVERYONE'S sandwiches, chips, and drinks up the mountain. Incidentally, when we got to the top, one of the guys I work with said, "Amy, you really shouldn't be carrying that heavy bag while you're pregnant." Yeah, AFTER we got to the top.

And what the heck does "stat" mean anyway?

I have seen ER - I know that when there is a gunshot victim, doctors need 2 quarts of saline and a blood transfusion "stat!" So, I always assumed "stat" meant fast, immediately, emergency, etc. But people keep coming in here to get their blood drawn and the blood drawers (what is their official title?) keep asking if it is "stat". I assume these people walking in here very leisurely aren't gunshot victims and that if this was an emergency, these people would be at a hospital emergency room, not a lab. So, does anyone want to fill me in on what "stat" really means in the medical environment?

Twilight - apparently, it is a big deal

I haven't jumped on the Twilight bandwagon. (I managed to successfully completely avoid the Harry Potter bandwagon - I haven't read a word of any of the books or watched more than 30 seconds of the movie.) But apparently, people are almost fanatical about this book series. The women in this clinic haven't stopped talking about it in the 2 1/2 hours I have been here. All about the characters and how someone has some special power that hasn't been used yet (or something). And about how the author borrowed the first 300 pages of her latest book to a friend to get her opinion and the friend posted it on the internet, so now the author has decided she may never finish the series (insert anger at the friend and some sniffs of sadness here).

Vampires in high school... I just don't get it.

What kind of idiot decided 3 hours of fasting would work for pregnant women?

I failed my first blood glucose test, which means I may have gestational diabetes. But, the test has a high rate of false positives, so it means I get to come hang out at this clinic for 3 hours FASTING while they do a more in-depth blood glucose test. I have several issues with this:

Issue #1. The doctor said I could leave between my hourly blood draws. So, Corbyn and I showed up planning to do a little shopping between the pokes of the needle. But, apparently, we were misinformed - you can't leave because a lot of women faint, throw-up, etc. during this test. Also, you can't expend much energy because that could influence the results. So, instead of getting some needed errands done, I now just have to hang out and waste 3 hours of my life. (Luckily, my laptop goes with me where ever I go, so at least I can be doing something during these 3 hours.) - And poor Corbyn - he was trying to be a good, supportive husband and now got sucked in to 3 hours of wasted time. (He actually left and is going to come back to get me, but considering it takes 30 minutes each way to get here, he pretty much just wasted 2 hours of his morning.)

Issue #2: If you throw up, you have to start the test entirely over. WHAT???!!??? These doctors have spent the past 7 months telling me that I have to eat something at least every 2 hours so I can stop puking so much - and that didn't really work great (I still puke alot), but at least it helped stem the tide. Now they tell me I have to go 3 hours without eating, AND I can't puke. Um, OK. So, I am sitting here trying to not get nauseous (I have gotten really good at delaying the inevitable barf, so I am hoping I can make it), but this women next to me isn't making it any easier. She is also doing the 3 hour blood test and she is having a very hard time of it. She is breathing VERY hard, sweating, grunting, dry-heaving, etc... it would probably be comical if she didn't look/sound exactly how I am feeling.

Issue #3: 100 grams of sugar in the most disgusting drink ever. I can think of many, many more pleasant ways to down 100 grams of sugar than the disgusting, concentrated syrup they give you to drink. Give me a Twinkie or some Oreos... that would at least make one part of this ordeal enjoyable.

I mean really - is this the best technology modern medicine has been able to dream up?

Ugh - Jalapeños

I was doing so well. I hadn't puked in two solid weeks, but I just managed to confirm what I learned early in my pregnancy: Jalapeños are DEFINITELY on the list of the Top 3 WORST things to puke. :(

The alien in my belly

Corbyn is in Idaho this week and the movie Alien was on TV last night... I made the mistake of watching it alone and, despite the fact that it was made in the 1970's AND I have seen it before, it totally freaked me out. I couldn't sleep last night... I was tempted to get my shotgun to protect myself from the Aliens I SWEAR were in my house last night.

When I talked to Corbyn tonight, I told him that I was freaked out from watching Alien and he was making fun of me... all I have to say is that he can't really make fun of me about being freaked out until he feels like he has an alien ready to break through his belly! (Is it just me or does a baby moving in your belly feel freakily like Alien?)

And, on a complete side note, I swear, the baby bonked her head on my rib cage today.

Pirate Corbyn...

In order for you to understand this story, I have to provide a little background:

About 4 years ago (actually, pretty close to exactly 4 years ago, because is was during the 2004 Olympics), a group of us friends went to Costa Rica and Nicaragua on a trip. While there, I was exposed to the most enormous bugs of my life. Huge. Like, one night, we chased (yes, literally CHASED) a huge bug around the room of our hostel because it was so LOUD just walking around none of us could sleep. I swear, it was the size of a small mouse. It was absolutely disgusting. And, since Corbyn spent 2 years of his life in Nicaragua on his mission, you might understand that he has come home with some...uh, bug issues. They never express themselves during the day, but at night, when he is asleep and his subconsciousness takes over, his true phobias come out. Like, if I accidentally touch him in the night, he FREAKS out. (Like, jumps out of the bed slapping himself to kill whatever bug touched him.)

Which leads me to my story and the picture: A couple nights ago, Corbyn dreamed (I didn't even touch him) that a bug was crawling on his face. So, he went to slap it away and managed to jam his thumb right in his eye. In the morning, his eye was swollen shut and emitting a steady stream of tears. And, it was difficult for him to even open his other eye. Being the helpful wife that I am, I got one of my bandanna's and tried to tie it over his one eye, but he thought it looked dumb, so he wouldn't wear it. But, he should learn to listen to me... since his vision was somewhat altered due to only being able to see out of one eye, when he went to adjust a pillow, he managed to jam his thumb BACK in his eye. So, he tied the bandanna back on... Amy always knows best. I bought him a super sweet eye patch after work that night - see picture.